by Leigh Goessl

Created on: July 23, 2009   Last Updated: June 14, 2011

Heading off to college for the first time is a big adjustment for both you and your parents. As you prepare for your transition to adulthood, becoming independent is a natural progression, but can be a challenging to find a balance between a desire to go at it alone and maintaining communication with parents.

As you become more independent in your new living situation, your parents are probably struggling to accept the fact you've reached a new milestone in your life. You're growing up and are on the cusp of facing the world as an individual. It's hard for a parent to see their 'baby' get ready to leave the nest.

• Growing into independence

Once you've reached college age you're ready to begin to take on additional responsibilities. The college years are a great time to spread your wings after leaving the proverbial nest, explore and take on higher levels of autonomy. While you are ready to begin to explore the world on your own doesn't mean you are necessarily ready to fly away on your own yet either.

While it is perfectly understandable to want to develop your independence and truly be out on your own, it's a good idea to keep your parents in the loop during the process. This is for both your benefit and theirs (not to mention maintain sanity for the both of you!) Communication is a two way street and by maintaining contact, this can help strengthen your relationship with your parents while you travel the road to adulthood.

• Communication equals reassurance

When you keep your parents in the loop, they'll feel more included in your life and will be less apt to interfere. If you maintain little or no contact, this is bound to drive them nuts. In return they'll likely drive you crazy trying to ascertain what's going on in your life. Parents whose children leave home to go to college and stop contact typically become worried, and as a result may try and exert more control so they know what is going on, and this can cause a lot of friction. No matter how old you get, parents will always worry to some extent. Keep communication lines open and parents will likely hover a lot less.

Keeping your parents in the loop doesn't mean you have to call home every night, or even every week. Semi-regular calls are nice and you can do this on your own terms. For some students, a pre-set time of the week works for telephone calls; for others sporadic calls work, but this may cause parents to worry a bit more if they aren't sure when they'll hear from you.

However,

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>