by Simon Richelieu

Created on: July 23, 2009   Last Updated: July 26, 2009

One of the often repeated and marginally less inane cliches relating to the battle of the sexes, and Internet dating is one of the major activities in that battle, is that the greatest sex organ is the brain. Certainly in the long term this is true, and by adding to that the use of humour anyone using an Internet dating site should have a reasonably potent weapon. From a personal point of view, based on experience of Internet dating since being divorced more than four years ago, I would say that there are certain very obvious danger signs when you read the adverts placed on these sites. It is true to say that the sites tend to encourage the use of stock phrases, some of them are designed to make almost exclusive use of these, presumably because many people find it difficult express themselves clearly, particularly when they are talking about themselves and trying to convey what they are looking for in a potential partner.

Phrases that turn me right off almost instantly include: "the glass is half full, rather than half empty" (with what: hemlock?) "walking hand in hand along a beach at sunset" (in Akron Ohio?) "wicked sense of humour" (I was in stitches as I watched the bunny boiling?) "scrubs up well" (do my shirts for me then) "seeking a soul mate" (presumably you are on your deathbed then). And what the heck does "tactile" mean? Does it mean: "If you put your hand up my skirt I won't holler the place down?" I would not recommend trying to find out, at least certainly not on a first date.

It is not the meaning conveyed in the cliche that I dislike it is simply the feeling that the advertiser does not have the originality of expression to say something interesting, and has to revert to shorthand to get an idea across. this certainly does not bode well for an entertaining first date.

More than forty years ago Roy Brooks became a very successful estate agent in West London, and made his name by telling it as it is, rather than by using the usual glossary of phrases. An "easily managed" property would be described as "too small to swing a cat in", a "cellar" might well be called a "tiny damp coal-hole", and I have often thought that there could be a place for a dating site that encourages advertisers to tell it as it is. There is of course a danger of being misinterpreted when using humour in an advert, but when dating if somebody does not share your sense of humour it is probably better to find out sooner rather than

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