by S. Colvin

Created on: July 23, 2009

Each child is born with a unique and individualized personality. They have different ways of learning and thinking. To compare siblings would be doing each child a great disservice while damaging their self esteem.

Children want to be provided with security, reassurance, and love. They want to know that you are proud of them for their accomplishments and love them for who they are. Children should not have to endure being compared to their siblings. The constant comparison of children can ultimately lead to sibling rivalry and jealousy. They may become upset with one another and feel as if one sibling is more special than the other. Children begin to feel inferior and questioning their worth. Their extraordinary talents are hindered because they feel as if they are being molded into something they are not.

It is amazing to see the differences in various sibling personalities. Each child is born with their own view of the world. Just like adults don't like to be compared to one another, children don't benefit from it either. Each person likes to think of themselves as an individual which sets them apart from the rest. By comparing siblings, the distinctiveness in their character is constantly questioned. They begin to feel as if they must regularly defend and prove themselves. Eventually that defense turns into resentment towards their relative.

Each child has their own set of strengths and weakness. They are able to provide different contributions to the family. These differences should be embraced. It may be necessary to alter parenting styles for each child. What works for one child, may not necessarily work for another. If children are invariably compared to their siblings, there is an increased risk that they will grow to compare themselves to others around them. This will make them more susceptible to peer-pressure. Rather than feeling secure in themselves and understanding their unique qualities, they begin to feel as if they should act as the majority does. Their identity begins to form based on those around them rather than the person they were born to be.

While it is natural for parents to be aware of differences among siblings, comparison can lead to a detrimental outcome. Each child possesses their own unique characteristics and traits. Their individuality should be praised and respected. It is a parent's job to encourage their children while nourishing their individual growth. Parents should avoid comparing siblings and provide the guidance that will promote success.

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