When two people decide to live together, whether they know each other or not, there are often tensions as the habits of the other person come to light in close quarters. And that's not to say that either person is wrong, just that they are different, and deal with things and situations in different ways.

Relationships between roommates can range from close friendship to outright hostility, the latter of which is never fun. For a roommate relationship to work, the best thing to do is sit down before moving in together and set out some ground rules that you'll both following. However, if you've already moved in together or find that you're having problems despite the ground rules, then there are certain ways to approach the situation:

DO set aside some time to talk to your roommate, without anyone else around if there are some issues. Relax yourself beforehand, and try to discuss things in a calm and rational manner.
DON'T yell at your roommate, or try to clear up the situation when either of you have visitors. This will simply add to the tension and is likely to make the situation worse.

DO be clear about how the bills and rent are to be shared, and how they will be paid. Also make sure you're clear on what you're will to pay for and what you believe isn't your responsibility.
DON'T assume that everything will be shared equally. If you spend $100 on groceries, but haven't previously agreed on what items should be bought, don't automatically expect to be reimbursed for half.

DO try to agree on the weekly chores that need to be completed, and try to allocate them evenly.
DON'T berate your roommate for skipping their chores, especially if it's a once off. If it is a regular event, sit down to discuss the issue and try to understand why your roommate hasn't been able to help out.

DO look at other living options if the situation isn't able to resolved.
DON'T move out without discussing it with your roommate. While the situation may be uncomfortable, it's better to discuss what you're going to do moving forward rather than sneaking off into the night, especially if you have furniture or whitegoods in the residence that you will be taking with you.

DO leave enough money to cover your previous month's share of bills if you do move out. If you're not able to give your room a good clean before you leave, it's also a nice gesture to leave some money to cover cleaning costs.
DON'T take any items that aren't yours. No matter how awful the situation may have gotten, make sure that you show your former roommate some respect, even if you feel they haven't shown you any.

In most instances, living with a roommate is a great thing - there's someone to share the bills and chores with, and in most cases, you can develop a good friendship with the person you're living with. However, if issues do arise, make sure to address them quickly, but approach any problems without blame. This will help to diffuse the situation, and hopefully help to solve the problem.

Learn more about this author, Kris Zelunka.
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