by P.J. O'Sullivan

Created on: July 22, 2009   Last Updated: July 27, 2009

God isn't Listening

Like most things in Glen's life god is another choice he isn't prepared to make and blind faith alone is not proof. Glen is agnostic; he has no evidence of god's existence. His belief is eternally in doubt and mustering strength from the possibility of a distant, omnipotent lord is not who is. To some, this means he is just too lazy to pick a side. Glen thinks all the emotional and physical strength he will ever need is born from within, cultivated by him. Yet, his current circumstance has him questioning if his physical strength and mental resolve is enough to help him survive.

Oh god, please help me make it, gasps Glen, all I've gotta do is get to the jungle and I'll be safe! Listening in angst and imagining his weightless words being wisped away by the wind never to reach its intended audience. Shit! No one's really listen'n to me beg for my life down here in this hell. It's not like god's gonna reach down with his divine hand and help drag me clear? Glen scoffs with contempt at the thought, glancing up at the daunting task before him. The treesthey might protect me. It looks to bout a half a klick to the East. Doubts continued to force their way to the forefront of Glen's mind and the thought of crawling that far, without being killed, drained some of his resolve. His strength is abating, but it is the only thing he can rely on now. Are you watch'n me now? Yeah, rightI'm talk'n to myself againwhy ask for help, there's no one listen'n to ME. I'll have to do it all myself.

Joining the Marines at nineteen was Glen's only opportunity out of the small Texas town he was born and raised. In spite of the war raging in Southeast Asia in 1971 and the stanch disapproval of his adopted father, Glen figured, why not? There's nothing better to do in this one-tractor town, he said, adjusting the broken antenna on his staticy black and white TV as he watched Gilligan's Island. Glen's father, Keith Leach, was a Southern Baptist preacher in the town's only church, and since age six Glen was expected to follow in his footsteps. Though Glen knew it wasn't true, he lead Preacher Leachhe was instructed to call him Preacher Leachto believe he would carry on his legacy. Preacher Leach eventually discovered the sham thanks to the less discriminate members of the church's congregation. The members considered Glen to be a freethinking, rowdy, heathen and often told his father as much.

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