by Sun Meilan

Created on: July 22, 2009   Last Updated: December 15, 2011

Few people really want to be alone. It is part of human nature to need another half; to have that someone who understands you like no other and is always there for you whether you are up or down.Hopefully, this article can help those who are facing the trauma of a break-up and are dreading the loneliness that may follow.

The obvious advantage to being single and childless is, of course, that you have plenty of spare time. Being in a relationship takes up time and energy that we often don't have; not having to plan around a partner makes it easier to find time for hobbies and relaxing. All this spare time can be daunting. However, if you make the effort to broaden your social life and your hobbies, you will soon wonder how you are going to fit everything in. You are also more likely to take chances and do things that you would not have done if you were still part of a couple, or had children.

Many women (and men) begin to lose their identity when they are in a relationship, particularly if their partner is quite domineering. Coming to terms with yourself and working out what you like about yourself is an important part of the process of being single. You need to spend some time on yourself for once. If you're the sort of person who usually concentrates on other people, this is the one time in your life that you should concentrate on you. You will come out of the other end feeling much more positive and confident. 

Many childless women in their thirties and forties can feel the biological clock ticking and can't help but wonder if they will ever have children. It may be worth considering why you want children so much. It is possible that because you think that having children will provide you with the meaning to life that you are looking for. However, it is always dangerous to rely on other people for your own happiness. You need to look within yourself for the peace that you need - and being single is precisely the time to do just that. 

No-one knows when they will meet someone else. It may be tomorrow, or it may be never. However, being single does not meant that you can't live a happy life. If you are not happy alone, then you need to consider why. It could be other people's views; in which case, you need to appreciate that it is none of their business. It could also be that you have deep-seated self-confidence issues that are too rooted for you to be able to solve them easily. In that case, you may need to seek professional help. It is nothing to be ashamed of. It could just be the step that you need to take in order to become comfortable with being childless and single. 

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