Channel Button

There are 46 articles on this title. You are reading the article ranked and rated #1 by Helium's members.

Creative Writing   >

Humor

Get a Widget for this title

Humor: Fishing

Fishing is a sport. Like golf, it is also a popular, leisure activity here in the Sunshine State. I have a good number of friends who over the years, have consistently invited me to go fishing with them. I've never gotten into it for reasons about to be discussed.

I respect fishing and those who enjoy it. I have several friends with boats who love to fish. My former boss used to actively compete for sailfish and fare pretty well for himself. He even had one of his prize catches hanging in the office. ESPN airs that fishing show every Sunday morning that I bear through until the Sports Reporters comes on, those rare weekend mornings that I'm actually out of bed.

My patented response when people ask me to go fishing is that I can buy my fish at the local supermarket. In those nice little display cases, they have tuna, salmon, grouper, whatever I want, and I don't have to gut or scale the darned things. My friends have explained repeatedly that fishing is about camaraderie and competition and drinking and getting away from things and more drinking and I'm all for that. Fishing just has never floated my boat. No pun intended.

Here's why.

Many years ago, my mom and I moved from New York City to Tampa, Florida. I was about 12 years old and, as I was raised by a single mom, she thought it might be a good idea to take me out and do some 'guy things.' Even then, I was reluctant. When she mentioned fishing, I asked her if would be able to catch tuna fish, nova, or fish sticks, a line that still gets tossed around at family dinners. We were from Manhattan. The only fish I knew was the smoked salmon we bought from Zabaar's. That was fresh, tasty and served up right there for you. Why go through the trouble of having to fish it out of the ocean? Plus my aunt had taken me to see Jaws at an early age. Jarring. At six years old, I had my head buried in her lap the entire movie.

So one day, mom bought a couple of cheap fishing poles and we headed out to the Courtney Campbell causeway. I forget what type of bait we used but I don't see either of us hooking worms or shrimp heads or whatever other items fishermen use. She even bought one of those K-Mart special fish kits even though we didn't really have anything to put in it. We didn't know what we would have done had we actually caught a fish. I sure as hell wasn't going to cut the thing open and I'm pretty sure she wasn't either. We probably would have just tossed it back into


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Humor: Fishing

  • 1 of 46

    by Chris Humpherys

    Fishing is a sport. Like golf, it is also a popular, leisure activity here in the Sunshine State. I have a good number

    read more

  • 2 of 46

    by Dave Knechel

    Fishin' with Frank on Cable 68

    When I moved to Orlando from New Jersey, my old friends from up there came up with the idea

    read more

  • 3 of 46

    by Rob Delisa

    When I was a kid, my brother and I loved to go fishing with our Dad. He loved to fish too, so he was more than happy to take

    read more

  • 4 of 46

    by Dan Hiland

    Step Away From the Pole, Sir

    It's a warm, sunny afternoon here on the riverbank, an owl hooting in the distant treetops.

    read more

  • 5 of 46

    by Michael Mccormick

    As long as people have fished, there have been liars telling fish stories. You may choose to believe this one, or you may

    read more

View All Articles on:
Humor: Fishing

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: Fishing?
We want to hear your view. Write_penWrite now!

99218

Featured Partner

National Autism Association (NAA)

The National Autism Association (NAA) has partnered with Helium, giving you the chance to donate your article earning...more

What is Helium? | Buy Web Content | Contact Us | Privacy | User agreement | DMCA | User Tools | Help | Community | Helium’s Official Blog | Link to Helium

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA