by Onesimus Musyoki

Created on: July 22, 2009   Last Updated: August 12, 2009

bearing with the loss

Forever together, in life and death!

'The wages of sin is death..' Probably an over statement depending on its prospect. Death is at times demeaning and considered ill-fate but this could be reason we'll keep crying even centuries after we lose our loved ones. The passing away of a close friend, partner or a relative comes with a lot of effect on us and we all we seem to do is make ourselves useless and powerless. As a result, it is always traumatizing to go through the mourning process. It is natural for us, as human beings to mourn the dead, but its unfortunate how wrongly we go about it. Some of us deprive themselves of basic needs such as food and sleep. It's fine to lack appetite and sleep for a short while. However, as much as it is normal to mourn, it's advisable to check on how we go about it especially without hurting ourselves because our lives must gone, even after losing that very important magic person. Some suggestions on how to safely bear with the loss of a loved one follow:

Establishing the cause of death.

Establishing the exact cause of the death brings satisfaction to the bereaved. This makes them feel responsible and accountable. If there was really any love for the deceased, the best way of showing it would be digging out the exact cause of death and immediate circumstances surrounding the occurrence of that sad event. the bereaved feel possessive as a result and it forms an illusion of direct connection with the deceased. This is also important in that it will ensure that precaution is taken in future(where possible) to avoid further loss.

However, in some circumstances, it is not worth the task because it could lead to digging out old wounds hence more damage and therefore it might be better to let go, and let the dead be dead.

Living their legacy

Sometimes, continuity would do in the mourning process. This could be finishing up a project the deceased was working on, paying off their debts or just living their legacy. It gives the direct connection and association you need together, even in death.

Knowing you are individual.

Everybody for himself and God for us all. This is a good trick to avoid night-mares with the deceased. Considering the deceased as an independent party could be the best way to forget about their existence. At times, it's hard but is worth. Try forgetting about them an shun or ignore any thoughts of them, after all a thought is just a thought.

Being positive about death.

If we only considered the end of one thing to be the beginning of another, then death would natural to us and forgetting about the deceased wouldn't be a big deal, after all, physical death is the beginning of eternal life..aaagh!

Considering death as a challenge.

God has a purpose for everyone and the fact that someone has died should mean that the person has accomplished their mission. Instead of crying, why don't find out what God wants us to do, do it and wait for our death? Life is personal, isn't it?

Pray God will be listening.

Everything is possible in prayer!

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