by Gauri Trivedi

Created on: July 21, 2009

She was just 4 years old. Old enough to understand that Dad was leaving again, old enough to dread the calm and the dull atmosphere that returned every time dad stepped out of the house but not old enough to understand why he had to go. So this wasn't an unfamiliar sight for us or our neighbors. A little girl crying, a middle aged man hugging her tight, whispering soothing words and finally putting her down. The girl refusing to let go and dragging a couple of steps along the way holding on to his legs.

This image more or less shaped up my entire course of life. The girl in the picture wasn't me, though I wished so many times that it had been me, because if it would have been me, I wouldn't have to witness it, nor would the memory have stayed with me. But that wasn't meant to be.

My father, simple hardworking sales executive tried his best to provide us with a comfortable life, even if it meant taking up a job that involved travelling and being away from home 20 days in a month. Needless to say, it took its toll on our family.

My mother resigned to her husband's long absences but not without regrets. She withdrew herself from most of the things outside of home. She went about the mundane chores in the house and tried to keep us company but her heart was somewhere else.

I was 10 years old and at an age where life was suddenly becoming interesting. I wanted to indulge in hobbies, learn new things and share what I learnt at school. Of course I missed my Dad, but at that age I needed my mom more.

It was my sister who suffered the most. She waited for the month to end as soon as it began. She counted days as far as she could. And she cried and sulked days after Daddy left. Very early in life, I figured out that a family was indeed a joint venture. All members were needed for it to function smoothly. One less was not just a small absence, it disturbed the whole balance and rendered others useless.

We longed for our dad to return home from his trips and when he did, we didn't or I would say we just couldn't make the best use of it. My father worked so very hard, sacrificed his time with his wife and children and spent every penny he earned for his family, this should have made us feel eternally grateful. But his absence made us blind to all the things we should have been grateful for. We wished he took up some other job which didn't need him to be away so much.

As years went by, the ideal of a family life started to shape up in my mind. Very soon, I had reached

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