by James Thornton

Created on: July 21, 2009   Last Updated: July 22, 2009

Fathers can build strong emotional bonds with their children, but it takes dedication and consistency. Building that bond begins before birth. Baby hears Mommy's heartbeat and voice. She IS baby's environment until birth, but a father can interact with the baby too. I talked with my son while he was in the womb every night. I read to him and told him about my day. Other nights I sang to him. "I've Been Working on the Railroad" became a reliable lullaby for getting him to sleep until he was four years old. My wife said he would move when he heard my voice. It may seem silly, but talking, reading, and singing gets baby used to your voice too. There were times during the day when he got so fussy that my wife would call me at work and hold the phone to our baby's ear. He would get quiet to listen and there were a couple times I talked him to sleep over the phone. When he was born, I said hello and he turned his head towards me.

I also made it a point to do as many feedings and diaper changes as possible. We breast-fed him so having pumped milk was the only way I could help feed him. My wife didn't complain at all about me doing all the night changing and feedings. Some of my warmest memories are sitting in his room, holding him in the rocking chair, and feeding him. He would look into my eyes and slowly drift back to sleep.

Our doctor also gave us a great piece of advice for bonding. She called it kangarooing. I took our son, in his diaper, lay him on my bare chest, and swaddled us with a blanket. The warmth and skin to skin contact allowed him to hear my heart.

Every day after work, no matter how tired I was, I took my son for a walk. I put him in his stroller and walked at least a mile. My wife looked forward to these walks as much as we did. She usually needed the break by the late afternoon and cooked dinner while we were out. During the walk, I either talked to him or sang to him and he would always be asleep by the time we got back. I then put him in the crib and ate dinner. After his nap, I bathed and fed him and got him back to sleep until he woke to eat again or needed changing. It was a nice routine; it gave my wife evenings off to spend with the other children or to unwind, and I got alone time with baby while getting exercise.

Finally, play with the baby. This is probably what Dad does best. Classics such as Peek-a-Boo and horsey rides always get squeals of joy and hours of laughter. Mom is usually the parent baby goes to with a boo-boo, but Dad is where the fun is at. The power of playtime cannot be underestimated.

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