"Contribution"
when the basket comes around
I don't want to hear no jingling
you salvation depends on your charity!
If you do not pay I will burn you!
I am speaking to you in God's name
and the sincere sound of my honest voice
will drill through to the pulpy substance
inside all of your dimwit heads!
you WILL go to the fires of eternia
wherein the fleshiest parts of your body
will be set forever ablaze!
it's nothing to laugh at you imbeciles
the Devil will get you anyway he can
he'll make you swallow a fishing hook on a wire
and wait for it at the other end!
just a small parting of some bills to the basket
keep that hook in place...until next week
you all should be ashamed and eat dirt
all of you are weak walking embarrassments
your stupid lips mumbling scripture
Baa! Baa! Baa! like the sheep you are
sheep that get sheared turn into pigs
I see Bible pages glued with maple syrup
all of you are brittle strips of bacon
I want to watch you laugh yourselves to death
let the arena overflow with helium
pray with me like people under a plastic bubble
droning away at our vending-machine God
His infinite ears can be coaxed with money
and He won't waste His time with intellectuals
THUMPA! THUMPA! THUMPA! bang our bibles like drums
our simple strategy is 'kill anyone that's different"
slaughter their bodies to free their trapped souls
armies of Christ carried a sacred heart out of the desert
let us shake our fists at the extraterrestrial beings
who are convinced our ecomony is some kind of sick game
they'll have you believe an antimatter explosion above the Vatican
will summon their jailers from the prisons they escaped from
and the residual MUCK that is left over with turn to clay and take form
willful men will take it and make as many curves as they can with it
and bring their personal favorites to reside in their own houses
but I SAY that in every house there is a closet that bears a demon
a hideous laughing sprite that spits mucus and paints the walls with vomit
crucifixes may be purchased in the gift shop just opposite the rear sacristies
place the PROPER symbols of glorified idolation on bumper stickers
DO NOT FORGET that Satan drives a muscle car that he can ride upside down
he tries to ambush our tour busses in the tunnels but we have SPECIAL RADAR!
YES! Yes-yes-yes! The radar comes to us from filling the basket. WE ALL KNOW IT!
OUR FAITH on the Devil has A DESTRUCTIVE POWER on his SNEAKERY!
Am I saying to you that Satan lurks in slave-labor shoe factories? NO! ! !
SATAN is RUNNING AROUND like LUNATIC in search of something to SET ON FIRE!
BUT! BUT! ! I tell you the combined force of our voices CAN SHATTER GABRIEL'S TRUMPET!
OUR PRAYER can put an end to THE SIXTH GREAT EXTINCTION which HUNTS our CONSCIENCE!
OUR CITIES SHALL TURN TO GRAZING GROUND FOR HORDES OF SHEEP AND PIGS!
HORRIBLE DISEASES WILL COME OUT OF THEIR EXCREMENT THAT WILL CLING TO EVERYTHING!
THE PIGS WILL GORGE THEMSELVES UNTIL THEY ARE SIGHTLESS IN THEIR OWN GLUTTONY
UNTIL AT LONG LAST THE SHEEP SHALL GRUDGINGLY COME FORTH TO DINE ON THE BLIND!
WHEN ONLY A SMATTERING OF SHEEP REMAIN, THE SHEPARD WILL RETURN TO PUNISH THEM!
HIS ROD AND STAFF WILL BEAT THOSE LEFT STANDING, BUT ONLY OF THESE WILL HE CHOOSE!
WHAT I'm telling you IS THAT FOR ONLY THE STRONG IN JESUS DOES THE NEW EDEN AWAIT!
I CAN PROMISE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU HERE THAT THIS IS AN ULTIMATE TRUTH!
FAITH NEEDS TO BE EXERCIZED EVERYDAY FOR IT TO HAVE THAT CRUCIAL FLEXIBILITY!
THOSE WHO TURN THEIR BACKS ON GOD THE FATHER HAVE MADE A MORTAL MISTAKE!
ONE WOULD THINK THAT NOT BELIEVING WOULD BE THE HARDEST TORTURE OF ALL
BUT IT IS HAVING TO WATCH A LOVED ONE THAT HAS TURNED AWAY FROM GOD WHICH IS MOST EXCRUCIATING! ! !
IF YOU HAVE COME HERE TODAY...THEN YOU HAVE TAKEN THE FIRST STEP TOWARD BELIEVING!
SPEND MORE TIME AT THE CHURCH...GREET YOUR LOVED ONES AND FRIENDS...FILL THE BASKETS!
YOU WILL ONLY BE GRANTED SAF PASSAGE FROM THIS WORLD TO THE NEXT if.....
YOU GET IN THERE AND CONFESS EVERY SIN UNTIL NOTHING REMAINS!
AND THEN YOU WILL KNOW FREEDOM!
YOU WILL KNOW LOVE!
AND TOGETHER WE WILL BE SAVED! ! !