by Terceira Molnar

Created on: July 20, 2009

Doubt Eulogy

I doubted this Ohio child

Bred on fishing and God

Because I didn't want to

Know he was somewhere

With so and so mine

An alcoholic telephoning cash

Trading food stamps to tattoo

Tracks to a liver failing body

Aide prone mentally ill

Man with no home

I was his home he didn't have

To cradle my head in his lap

His biological imperfection,

His DNA map a worn photo

I carry in my back pocket

A pocket full of inkless pens

I drank dry cause the bottle

Isn't hearing a word it is

Earless like death like

Diseases and addicts alike

Whose passions strung out and fried

On rations of tragic panhandled pity

So I doubted the syringes mistaken

Them for crucifixes to splinter skin

Thought he was just trying to be saved

I doubted the caked lines in a mirror

In a communion plate of repentance

And I hoped he heard life's guilty sigh

When he smelt the lighter fluid

When he scaled his time in a Ziploc

So with knees bent

I doubted the metal gun

For a barrel of a telescope

To see the other side

And I go ahead and hate

Hate yesterday's sun but still

Wake to meet the next laugh

At it slap it floss teeth and tie shoes

Because I am still awake from doubt

Pounding in my eardrums in bed

It haunts the moon and I tucked

In sheets moist with broken fingers

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