by Elinda Harrison

Created on: July 19, 2009   Last Updated: July 21, 2009

Is it better for children to be raised by stay-at-home parents?

I answered NO to this question. Why? Let me explain. I think it is a personal opinion of individuals that "decide" whether it is better for children to be raised by stay-at-home parents nor working parents. I believe it takes more than a survey sampling to really know which is better.

We've come to know what's best for everyone's children. In our opinion, that is. Yes, we are that pompous and all knowledgeable. We know what you should feed them, what time they should go to bed, how old they should be to date, how to discipline them, how to reward them....It never ends!

We have even decided when they should be considered adults, especially in legal matters; when we should charged then as adults when they are just 12 years old! God forbids if we catch him/her with a cigarette or a drink at 12 years old, we will discipline them until they are blue in the face, and then we will light up our cigarettes and have a cocktail to unwind. God, what a day, huh!

I hate what we've done to our children's rights. I hate what we have done to families. Parents that stay at home, sometimes raise stronger children; however, sometimes their children are weaker. Working parents sometimes raise strong, independent children, but again sometimes their children are clingy, needy, and have abandonment issues. So which is better? There may not be a "better" in this case; just a difference, with no clearly defined outcome. People argue that if they are home with their children, then they are more aware of what TV shows they watch, what commercials they're allowed to see and etc.

Do you buy into this? I don't. This is not always the truth. It may be what you think is the truth, because your children are perfect and that's all there is to it, right? Children are not stupid, most of the time. They are aware of their surroundings. They know how to find those books in the library, you know, the ones you've forbidden them to read. They know how to find the smutty undies that are stuff in the back of your dresser drawer! They've probably watched Entertainment Tonight more than you have and are just about as sick of Mary Hart, as I am. Talk about smut!

A good friend of mine was a single mom with two boys. From the time the boys' ages were 6 and 9; her boys and she were on their own. Unfortunately their dad was living in another city and came only to get the boys on the weekends. They had an amicable relationship and both did what they could for the boys. It worked some of the time. The boys are now 26 and 29, both have finished college, and the 26 year old manages a small credit union. Smart? Yes. The 29 year old has had keeping a steady job issues, but he is employed.

What is my point? My point is that they've turned out fine, pretty much. There are other parents I could name that had the stay at home mom, for all of their formative years and beyond, and they still could and do end up in jail, in prison, or they drop out of school, or refuse to use the library, etc.

Some writers have written that it is always better for the children when they've been raised by a stay-at-home parent. Yet in their examples, there is no proof that having a stay-at-home parent benefited them greatly. I don't agree that stay-at-home out-produces the not stay-at-home parent. There's just not enough credible proof for me to decide.

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