by Kelly Mastanduno

Created on: July 19, 2009   Last Updated: July 21, 2009

Borderline Personality Disorder is not easily recognized. This is due in part to the fact that as an actual mental disorder, it has not been given much attention by the mental health professionals throughout the years. This is not because it's validity as an actual disorder has been questioned (although, by some it has), but because it's symptoms are complex and multiple. Some of the characteristics of BPD overlap other mental health issues, such as depression and Bi-Polar Disorder, and so diagnosis often ends there. But BPD goes much deeper than that and it is often the person suffering who has to recognize her feelings, her actions, her reactions, and her thought patterns and be aware of what's within normal range, and what is not.

Nobody wants to admit to the possibility that there is something "wrong" with them, especially a mental illness. But the critical first step in getting healthier and enjoying a better quality of life is to face it. Don't let the stigma surrounding BPD, or mental illness in general, intimidate you. Acknowledging what the problem is may be difficult, but it is also a brave, intelligent and cognitive step. It means you are on your way to feeling better!

One of the most recognizable traits of BPD is the intense fear of rejection and abandonment. Do you feel you have to have someone in your life in order to be happy? Do you get upset with your significant other if he has to work long hours? Do you find yourself getting upset if your boyfriend or husband wants to do something that doesn't include you? Do you feel devastated after a break up? These are signs of a fear of abandonment, and an emotional hypersensitivity to rejection, classic criteria for BPD.

Another aspect of the disorder to look out for is what's called "black and white" thinking. Do you sometimes feel like your significant other is the best thing that has ever happened to you, only to find yourself thinking he is a failure and your involvement with him is a mistake, and then round and round again? This is due to the inability of borderlines to understand the "grey" areas of emotions and life. You may place your loved one on a pedestal one day, only to be gravely disappointed in them the next over an inevitable and minor shortcoming. This disappointment in them can lead to fights, affairs, even divorce when you feel your loved one is not being the "perfect" mate you thought they were or should be. You may think to yourself that you are overreacting, but your emotions

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