Where Knowledge Rules

Home:

Creative Writing

Get a Widget for this title

Reflections: Feeling like an outsider

outsider: a person not belonging to a particular group, set, party, etc.: synonyms:alien, floater, foreigner, incomer, interloper, intruder, newcomer, odd one out, outlander, refugee, stranger.

That seems like the perfect word for me. At least most of the time. I can't always pinpoint why I am the outsider, but I generally feel that way. Born the third girl in a line of four children with the last one being a boy. Born the only blond, and having interests completely different from any of the others. I never have seem to fit in, anywhere.

Maybe you feel the same way. Misplaced. Not a jock, not a nerd, not popular. Just somewhere in between.

I eventually grew up and found my way. Went away to college. Found love and got married. Married at a younger age than anyone else in my family, always rather financially challenged, and had a large family. I have been blessed with four great little men. That in itself makes me different. Chose to be a stay at home mom, another unpopular choice by consensus. Then to top that off I "let myself go". I gained 225 "extra" pounds and became obese. I have come to realize that I have an addiction to food. But with counseling I am overcoming that addiction and have lost over one hundred of those pounds. I am sure that feeling like an outsider has not helped my addiction.

I notice when I am having conversations with others that I am not very well received. I don't know if it is the weight issues, or my exuberant personality or if they see horns on my head that I don't know about. Am I intimidating, scary, ugly, stinky? No one is sharing any insight on the matter. Maybe they are afraid of hurting my feelings. I don't know. But maybe I could improve if someone would just share. Then again, I shouldn't care what they think or feel. I am who I am and that is all there is to the matter. At least that is what my intellect ( and therapist) tell me. But my heart aches a little when I think about being the outsider and not belonging. Then living in a house with all men doesn't make me feel anymore included...go figure. Maybe when I am finished with my journey of weightloss and searching I will have it all figured out. But maybe not. I am what I am and that is all there is to it.

Learn more about this author, Amy Fletcher.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Reflections: Feeling like an outsider

  • 1 of 6

    by Joyce Bueter


    I don't belong; I feel strange, what am I doing here? These are thoughts and questions that have plagued me since I was

    read more

  • 2 of 6

    by G E Barr

    Social Disengagement

    There are three types of circumstances which can produce the feeling of being an outsider. First of

    read more

  • 3 of 6

    by Domestic Avalanche

    "Mi trattano come un intruso"

    Intruso: (ITALIAN sm/f) (estraneo) intruder, (ad un ricevimento) gatecrasher

    I was thinking

    read more

  • 4 of 6

    by Amy Fletcher

    outsider: a person not belonging to a particular group, set, party, etc.: synonyms:alien, floater, foreigner, incomer, interloper,

    read more

  • by Stanley W. Shura

    I do not merely feel like an outsider. I am an outsider. Well, to put it more literally, and alas, ironically, I am an "insider".

    read more

View All Articles on:
Reflections: Feeling like an outsider

Add your voice

Know something about Reflections: Feeling like an outsider?
We want to hear your view. Write_penWrite now!

90554

Featured Partner

The Sunlight Foundation

Founded in January 2006, the mission of the Sunlight Foundation is to strengthen the relationship between lawmakers a...more

What is Helium? | Buy Web Content | Contact Us | Privacy | User agreement | DMCA | User Tools | Help | Community | Helium’s Official Blog | Link to Helium

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA