by Becky Graham

Created on: July 18, 2009

Everyone in society seems to have an opinion on what a marriage means, and what it will take to make it work. While the majority of us find ourselves searching and striving for a happy marriage that is overflowing with love, there are others who have made their marriages successful from nothing more than sincere dedication to either another human being, or God himself. The question presented is not whether a marriage can continue "happily" if the couple is not in love; it is, "can a marriage continue without the couple being in love"?

Since the beginning of time people have been thrown into marriage with partners they don't love for multiple reasons. They've been persuaded to marry for a more prestigious social status that will ultimately benefit their families. They've been forced into marriage by their families for economic reasons, or religious beliefs. Sometimes, they are even sold as companions to assist in their country's economy. There are a variety of reasons why people get married, and some do not, in fact, require love.

For centuries, even in the United States, the home of the free and the brave, marriage was not based on the concept of love. Young girls got pregnant out of wedlock, flirted a little too candidly, or in society's opinion, "made a name" for themselves. Un-lady-like girls, along with their families, were dismissed as outcasts and hoodlums. People were tossed together in holy matrimony for no other reason than to avoid certain disgrace throughout their communities.

Eventually, opinions changed a bit, and marriages weren't forced, but there still weren't many options for dating. There were community dances for each major holiday or society-celebrated event. There was church every Sunday with a "social" following, and everything the children did was closely monitored by their guardians. Truly getting to know someone before tying the knot was minimal to say the least. After marriage, if the couple realized they weren't meant for each other, divorce was not an option...in God's eyes. Marriage was a solemn vow to each other, and those vows were spoken in front of God and "his people". There were moral obligations that needed to be upheld.

Society, in the twenty-first century, would agree that people involved in equal, loving relationships fare much better than those who are not. They receive more love, communication, and openness in their lives with people they have deemed worthy in their own hearts. However, that does not stop arranged marriages and marriages of convenience from happening.

Regardless of the reasoning for a marriage taking place, there have been many successful outcomes on all fronts. What we in our homes consider successful may be up for debate, but if we are looking solely at the question of whether or not a marriage can survive without love, there is no question. Marriages based on society's demands, not love, have weathered countless storms much greater than today's "if you're not happy, get out" relationships. Dependent on history's editorials, most certainly a marriage can continue without the couple being in love.

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