by Evelyn Chagarov

Created on: July 18, 2009

When it comes to the much-debated subject of whether a parent is responsible for their child's drug use, many people tend to see it as a black and white subject. In my opinion, this subject is neither black nor white. This subject is filled with many different shades of gray.

I myself am a recovering addict. When I started "getting high" I was nineteen years old, had already been in the military and gotten out for medical reasons, and had already been married and divorced. I was already "living life in fast forward." I could whine and cry and say that I did drugs because I was sexually abused, or because I didn't love myself, or make some other excuse that might sound great and not be true. But let's cut the bull. I did drugs because I wanted to. I wanted to be high and not worry about my problems. I didn't do drugs because of my parents, and anyone who tells you they did? They either had a really screwed up childhood or they are copping out.

Now, don't get me wrong. I fully believe that there are cases in which parents have contributed to a child's drug use, but unless that parent was holding their child down and forcing drugs into their system (which, sadly, has happened I am sure) then the drug use is ultimately the user's fault.

Many users do not want to hear this because it sets the responsibility back in their own lap, when they have tried so hard to throw that burden at society, their parents, their friends, and anyone else who comes along. And that is really the problem, isn't it? Responsibility. One little word that implies so much. One little word that is at the root of a drug user's problem. I can speak from experience when I say that "users" are irresponsible. Who would trust a user to watch their child? Actually, who would trust a user?

When I was using, I thought that the world owed me. I was a disabled veteran of the United States Army! I had been sexually abused as a child! The world owed me! But, like most excuses, it was flimsy and easy to see through. There are plenty of people who were sexually abused, and did not grow up to do drugs. There are plenty of disabled veterans who are productive members of society. Whatever someone's excuse it, it's not enough. Ultimately, drug use is not anyone's fault except the person who makes the decision to do the drug.

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