by Carol Gioia

Created on: July 17, 2009

It would be unrealistic to expect to walk around in a blissful state all during your marriage. When two individuals agree to weave their lives together, they are committing to hard work and compromise, as much as agreeing to spend the rest of their life with the one they love and cherish.

Melding two lives and maintaining bliss is a challenge. There are separate interests to consider, differing opinions, often vastly different backgrounds and traditions to reconcile. After children are added to the mix, bliss if often a rare state, taking a back seat to obligations and responsibilities.

As I approach my golden anniversary, I ponder how my spouse and I ever reached this pivotal milestone. Certainly, over the years, there were times when we looked at each other with the thought, "Do I even know you?"

We embraced the honeymoon phase, survived the growing family years, tolerated the estrangement of living with a houseful of teenagers, became giddy at the prospect of an empty nest, mutually cherished the role of grandparents, and one day found ourselves right back where we started - just the two of us - blissfully happy to be together.

Along the way I have accumulated some useful guidelines for surviving marriage and keeping the promises made at the altar.

Top tips for wedded bliss (in no particular priority order)

* Establish trust

Be honest with one another. Secrets have no place in a marriage. Even if the information you have to share will be painful, or cause upset to your partner, have the courage to practice full disclosure at all times. This is especially important where money is concerned.

* Establish a workable means of communicating

In conversations, listening is more important than talking. In arguments, which are inevitable, focus on the subject without attacking your partner on any personal level. Every disagreement needs a hero to bring it to a close. Be that hero, and sacrifice the need to have the last word. Have patience and pick appropriate times to open dialogue about important matters. A tired or preoccupied spouse will not be able to converse in a meaningful way. Communicate with consideration.

* Be friends

It is all too easy to take for granted the person we hold half-responsible for our life and family. Treat your spouse with the same consideration and thoughtfulness you give to friends, coworkers and acquaintances. You would never berate, cajole, pressure or intimidate your friends. If you did so, you would find yourself alone

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