by Garry Spotts

Created on: July 16, 2009

The prevailing myth about mentorship is that it presupposes a positive impact when in fact mentorship is simply the power to influence. A mentor's influence can be destructive or constructive; ultimately it is the character and intent of the person exerting influence that determines the quality of mentorship.

The key role of a positive mentor is to draw out of the mentee their best natural qualities. An effective mentor works to hone the mentee's learned skills and empowers them to influence others in the same positive way. There is an ancient proverb which says, "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." The implication is that like sharpens like, and each party's ability to relate to the other is critical to the effectiveness of a mentor's relationship. In other words, there must be a common ground from which to launch a mentor - mentee relationship. Once relatability has been considered and established, then you can progress to the first rule of effective mentorship.

# 1 Rule of Mentorship

The first rule of effective mentorship is, define your intent. In his book, Man's Quest For God, Rabbi Abraham J. Heschel, said "The world is not derelict, life is not a neutral ground. In this life of ours the undirected goes astray, the haphazard becomes chaotic, what is left to chance is abandoned." It is impossible to effectively mentor without a clear intent of what your mentorship will produce. Quality mentorship is at the same time purposeful and intentional in its direction and directing. Fail to define your intent and you have failed before you have started.

It is not necessary to write a lesson plan or to draft a syllabus to effectively define your intent. Decide what you believe and the things you do which empower you to live well and to maintain healthy relationships with others. Think about what you value and how your values impact your decisions.

Once you have examined your thought process you will discover the substance of your intent as a mentor. A word of caution; your mentee may be the victim of either their own poor decision making, or someone else's, resulting in a learned lack of trust. So bear in mind that he or she may not trust your decision making until you demonstrate that it can be trusted.

Effective mentorship is contingent upon two critical qualities that both the "mentor" and the "mentee" must possess. There are no limits to the potential for your mentoring relationship, if you both share a willingness to learn

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