by Gordon Hamilton

Created on: July 16, 2009

Lying can affect the intimacy of a relationship extensively and in many different ways. Lying is never a desirable quality but where it occurs within the confines of what is supposed to be a loving relationship, based on trust, the ultimate consequences can be disastrous.

When one partner lies to another, they are not only breaking the trust that person most likely has in them, they are introducing dark and dangerous other factors in to the relationship. Deception brings with it many bedfellows, including potentially feelings of guilt, fear and discomfort.

Lying can affect the intimacy of a relationship when the liar feels guilt at having lied to their partner. They will perhaps feel remorseful, sad that they have told the lie or lies, and they will consequently not be able to relax and enjoy the intimacy with their partner in the same fashion as if their conscience were clear. Their partner is likely to notice this at a very early stage and may begin - even secretly - wondering whether the other's feelings for them are changing. This can lead to their feelings of intimacy also being affected.

When a liar feels fearful of their lies being exposed in a relationship, it is likely to make them withdraw from their partner at certain times and shirk away from any or all forms of intimacy. Their fear of their deception being uncovered may even be so strong as to at least temporarily put an end to all intimacy within their relationship, with even greater derogatory affect on their partner.

When the intimacy in a relationship is affected by lying, the long term effects on the relationship - not just the short - can be extremely consequential. The feelings which will start to build up in the partner who has been lied to will initially be similar to the other's. They will at first know a vague discomfort, developing to a fear that something is wrong either with their partner or their relationship and all intimacy within the relationship can come to an abrupt end.

Lying can affect the intimacy in a relationship very easily to the extent that it ends the entire relationship. As the feelings of discomfort grow in both partners, arguments and rows may develop as a result. The couple can quite easily be forced apart in this event to the extent that it ultimately leads to a parting of the ways.

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