by Isaac Madengu Mangatu

Created on: July 16, 2009

After two years of marriage and five years of dating, we were ready for our baby who is now 9 weeks old. I am a very proud father, happy with my decision to have a baby two years after our wedding. Our journey was with mixed emotions and full of drama but the decisions we have made in our short marriage life are more than satisfactory, they are exactly what we need.

When it comes to giving newlyweds advice about baby planning I think I might be well positioned and I will be very simple and precise. I would say they are core fundamental issues to consider and take into account and also those not to consider. Babies are so special, they change your life style and will channel a new kind of energy and commitment that transcends time or any love that the two might have had. Many people always say that after you have a baby you are never the same, your love for each other changes. To be honest, yes it does but for the better, having a baby can bring you together if you gear yourselves towards making the marriage work.

There is obviously the question that cannot be answered with certainty by anyone, "will you be together forever or will you divorce later?" I am sure some people will say that they have just got married so that means they are going to be together, I will live that alone. The question that begs an answer is "are we connected and know each other to the point that we can sacrifice of fun, joy and outgoing nature?" When a baby comes, babies are fragile and require attention that is beyond anything that you have ever cared for. Babies require both parents for this very reason my first question comes into play, both parents can help each other and therefore make the transition easier and bearable for the other person.

My wife and I established that we would both play different roles, my wife for obvious reasons would spend more time with the baby but as and when I could do anything like wash the baby, cleanup the diapers, do the laundry and clean the house I would do that. We did not have to set anything in stone but knowing what I could do opened my eyes to the journey that was ahead of us. My wife had a 36 hour labor and ended up getting a Caesarian Section, why am I telling you this, well part of baby planning requires this information. The women go through a lot, the baby changes, emotional and hormonal changes are so huge that when the baby comes it takes time for some women to connect with the babies because of the entire birth process.

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