by Kristene Alexander

Created on: July 16, 2009

The sound of the horse in the paddock munching on his hay was calming me down. This is where I come to hide from the world. It is a small riding barn located down the street from our new house. I like our house, what I don't like are some of the kids at school. They are mean.

Sitting down, I grab a blade of grass and start twirling the end of it around in my mouth. The horse raises his and looks me over. He sniffs the air then slowly lowers his head to continue eating his hay. At least he is checking on me, I think to myself. The tears well up and I let them fall. I don't have to pretend I'm strong here. I don't have to pretend I'm not scared. Here, I'm just plain old me. I'm so glad I found this place, I don't know what I would do if it wasn't here. Nobody knows I come here to cry. This is between me and the horse.

Walking home from school is pure torture. The three bullies, April, Lisa, and Christy make my life hell. They walk behind me, calling me fatso, blubber, and some other nasty names. They walk so closely behind me, throwing things at my head, usually acorns, berries from bushes and small pebbles. I ignore them the best I can. I don't let them know that the pebbles hurt. I try not to increase my pace to get away, when all I want to do is run. I don't want them to know how scared and afraid I am of them. I let them kick me. I don't do anything, I just keep walking with my head down and my long blond hair covering my face. They kick me harder and shove me. I stumble and correct myself as they laugh. Don't look at them, I tell myself, don't make a sound. Just keep on walking. All the way praying that I can make it home without bursting into tears. They would love to see that. April shoves me real hard. Lisa trips me. I fall to my knees. My glasses fall to the ground. I don't look up. The attack is over. The rest of the walk home will be peaceful. I can only wonder what torture they are going to put me through tomorrow on my walk home.

I don't know what I did to them to make them hate me so much. Is it because I'm the 'new kid'? What is it that I have that makes them want to hurt me so much? When will it stop?

It never stopped, not until I moved to a different city. Nobody tortures me here. I am happy here. I learned a lot from the bullies. I learned that name calling DOES hurt, physical scars heal, but mental scars take a long, long time. I can still hear them in my head when I think about the torture they put me through. I can still see their sneers. I can still see their smug smiles as they hurt me.

Learn more about this author, Kristene Alexander.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.