by Deborah Lawwill

Created on: July 15, 2009   Last Updated: July 17, 2009

The success or failure of an interfaith marriage depends upon which faith each member of the couple claims, how different the faiths are, and whether or not they love each other to accept each other's life choices.

For me, though I may be a Spiritualist, I only attend church biweekly and spend 20 minutes in front of my altar each day and that's about it for ritualistic practices. I keep my prayers and concerns private and try to do good wherever there is an opportunity. I believe in God, however I have doubts about the Church, it's views, and the bible as being "the only book" that matters. I also do not agree with the mainstream Christian church's view on sex and marriage, abortion, and magic. I believe that people misinterpret the parts in the bible that speak about magic and that only black magic or magic that is meant to harm is bad. I believe God gave us knowledge of white magic, or helpful magic, to be used in his service to help and heal others. I believe whole-heartedly in the ten commandments.

My boyfriend, who is very much like a husband to me, believes everything I believe except for the belief in God, which he claims is a "possibility". He is agnostic but listens to me and even meditates with me on his own free will. Neither of us have ever pushed our beliefs on each other, but we have grown in our love and grown spiritually as a couple. I also listen to his ideas and we have mature, intellectual discussions about religion without ever arguing.

The keys to making an interfaith marriage or relationship last is closeness of beliefs, even if they are not the same, and also being mature and communicating well. Some people have not learned how to properly communicate with their spouse and thus the relationship struggles. No matter what your faith, communication in any relationship is key. Along with love, forgiveness, and willingness to grow both individually and with your partner.

Marriage is a selfless sacrifice, when you become married you must give up anything of you that is selfish. You must be willing to work with and serve the needs of your partner. It's not easy, but it is rewarding. And one day you could be able to say to your grandchildren "We were married 50 years". Marriage is meant to be a life journey and is only meant for those who are truly in love and who can truly sacrifice their wants and occasionally their needs on a daily basis for the sake of their partner.

I believe the major things that cause marriages to fail are selfishness, lack of love, and miscommunication. Also, couples must be at least somewhat compatible from the beginning. Extremely opposite or extremely similar personalities can cause too much conflict and that in itself is enough to tear a marriage apart.

Overall, if two people love each other enough they can work through anything, even if they have differing beliefs.

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