by Crystal Shimo

Created on: July 15, 2009

You mother carries you in her womb for nine months. Your father and mother are there every day at bedtime (ideally), and there when you wake up. Eighteen years (ideally) of your life is spend under the same roof as your mother and father. Humans in general are creatures of observation. The majority of what you learn comes from your parents as they are who you are with the majority of the day and night.

When I was young, a teenager almost, I made a promise to myself to be there for my children if they ever needed me. At the time, I didn't know when I was going to have children or how many I was going to have. All I knew was that I wanted for my children something that I didn't have. My parents listening to me. My parents there for me whenever I had a question to ask, or a worry or fear. As it was, my parents were never home. I was left with relatives the majority of the time or left home alone. In my relatives, I saw what I wanted to see in my parents. Seemingly caring individuals who generally cared about how I was feeling and what I wanted to do. My relatives would explain things to me where I could understand them while my parents just brushed me off for one reason or another.

In my parents, I learned what not to be. I learned from their mistakes. Their mistakes, and their successes made me into the woman I am today. A parent should be a child's first hero. Someone that the child looks up to and wants to emulate. Without parents to emulate, children tend to emulate all the others around them, whether good or bad. Those that don't have a good family life tend to be more aggressive toward others, or just complete social outcasts.

In some cases, parents put the blame on others for how their child turns out to be, which in turn the child turns into blaming the world for the things he's done. One instance being the long debated video games. Parents buy their children video games rated M for Mature or +17, and then blame the video game for showing their children violence or sexual insinuations when their child gets into trouble. Children see violence on news, tv shows, and even in their own neighborhood. With no parent there to supervise them, a child of any age can see one if not all forms of violence by just walking out the door or looking out the window. When a child does something bad, it's usually a cry for attention, that they are wanting their parents to actually notice them. It is not their copy cat of a video game, tv show, or other form of violence. In certain cases, the parent should accept that it is as much their fault as well as all the other factors involved.

As parents, what we say and do decide the lives of our children. Where they grow up, what clothes they wear for the first ten or so years of their life, and what type of food they eat. What the children see their parents do directly impacts the decisions they make. If parents ignore their children, they will close themselves off, or give a tremendous cry for attention that is in no way good for the child. If parents actually realize that the old cliche "Do as I say, and not as I do" is not the way human beings work when they are growing up, children may not cry for attention as much, or if they do, they would cry in a more positive and creative manner.

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