by Terin Copening

Created on: July 15, 2009

Should I take the hundred dollar bill that I have left after bills and buy groceries? Or should I go down to the local jewelry store and buy a cheap ring for my girlfriend so I can finally ask her to marry me? Decisions, decisions. Life is full of them. For me, this decision would be particularly easy. I would buy groceries.

An engagement ring is a symbol of a couple's commitment to each other and their never ending love (hence it's circular shape). The diamond is just an extra bit of flair to show off to your friends. In spite of the symbolism of the engagement ring, it is in no way a prerequisite for marriage. Just because there is not an external symbol of love on your ring finger doesn't mean that your love doesn't exist or that it's any less strong. And when you go to the justice of the peace or have your officiant perform the ceremony, they will not ask to see the ring. Therefore, I have a hard time understanding why the engagement isn't considered legit without a ring. My husband and I were engaged for almost a year before we purchased our rings, yet everyone who knew us knew that we were engaged.

On the flip side, how many couples do you see wearing a ring that act like they'd rather be unattached? Constantly arguing with each other and preferring to do things with other people. Just because you have a ring doesn't mean you're in love. It just means that you can afford one or that you believe in or prefer to wear an engagement ring.

Perhaps you do propose to a girl without an engagement ring and she rejects you simply because you don't have a ring. That would be an indication to me of where her heart really is. Yeah, you could go to the jewelry store and buy a $60 engagement ring with absolutely no frill and try again. But the chances that she'd be happy with that are slim to none. So if the ring is the only reason she won't marry you, I'd say just this: re-evaluate. If she'd prefer that you spend your last few dollars buying her wedding ring instead of purchasing groceries for this month, you might be better off looking elsewhere.

It's time to let go of ostentatious behavior and recognize love for what it really is. Love doesn't come and go with an expensive (or cheap) piece of jewelry. Love is in the heart, and it cannot be bought or sold. Trinkets and jewelry are one of many ways to show your love for another person, but simple things are just as valuable, if not in fact: priceless.

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