by Carla Raley

Created on: July 15, 2009

Being a foster parent for the state brings about many interesting challenges. The most obvious is dealing with the issues the foster child may come with. The child who comes into foster care may have been abused or neglected and can have many problems related to that. Or they may have been a well loved child whose biological parents abused themselves and because of that put the child in danger. A child who comes from a situation like this can also have many problems dealing with the loss of their family. As a foster parent, you will need a lot of training, wisdom, patience, and even the willingness to work with these situations.

Another challenge the foster parent faces, however, is working with the biological family of the child they are taking care of. One of the jobs of a foster parent is to help mentor the biological family, if that is possible, and if the family will accept it. This can sometimes be a lot harder than taking care of the child itself.

A foster parent needs to be quick not to judge. It is easy to just assume that a parent who has lost custody of their child is not a good person and deserves what they get. But what should be considered is that many times, these biological parents have been abused themselves, and hardly know how to live any other way. Some of them have had terrible things happen in their lives that they have not yet overcome. I know of one parent whose own mother tried to kill her when she was just a small child. These families love their children, but just have no clue how to be a parent. It's always good to start out in your journey with this family with compassion, rather than looking down on them. As time goes on, you may change your view, but in the beginning, try to believe that the family can be redeemed and reunited, which is the goal of CPS (Child Protective Services).

Sometimes the biological family wants to work with CPS and the foster parents. They only want their child back, and will do whatever it takes to reach that goal. These families are the easy ones. They are usually easy to get along with. You can feel good about what is being done in their lives, and although you will love the foster child and miss them when they are gone, you can know that you have helped a family become whole, and take comfort in that.

Other times, the family will be very angry at CPS, although they are trying to work their plan, but they will appreciate the foster parents who are taking care of the

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