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Nice guys finish last."

They sure do; and, contrary to popular opinion, there is a reason for this. Allow me to explain it.

People, out there in their teeming masses, need to have their ego boosted by other people. When they lack any kind of mental autonomy, it only follows that they will have to have others stimulate them. Because of this, insecure people (read, most of them) need constant reassurance that everything is ok and that they are loved.

Surely, then, the nice guy who treats the girl correctly would be the preferred option? It must logically follow that if a guy treats a gal like shit, there is little in the way of hope for that relationship?

Actually, the opposite seems to be true. Despite doing their best to provide a happy and loving environment for their chosen partner, otherwise decent people are invariably jettisoned for the first less wholesome person that comes along. And as it happens, there are a large number of cases of this; you see it everywhere there is human interaction.

The reasoning is actually quite simple and it's to do with what a person thinks about themselves.

As I mentioned, most people need external validation of some kind. Because of this, there has to be some reason why a person would choose to be treated badly instead of well. And it just so happens, I have an idea why.

First of all, if you treat a partner well, you will provide them with a stronger sense of self esteem than they had to begin with. You will build their ego with the way you speak to and treat them, providing them a platform with which to build a reasonable foundation of self confidence on. Following this to its logical conclusion, you will create a feeling that a person is ok, happy, content and worthwhile. Also, with someone who is inherently unhappy with themselves, they're likely to take any compliment as far as they can; regardless of who it comes from.

You will instill the idea that they can do better.

Take the other guy, though; he's rude, indignant and makes the girl feel like shit. Due to his constant abuse (sometimes physical), self esteem and belief are stripped away. Through emotional neglect, the partner starts to lose any sense of herself, assuming she had any in the first place. Even a genuinely nice guy can't break the ice, seeing as he's fighting against an intellect that believes only in its own worthlessness.

This instills the idea that they can't do any better.

This, then, becomes an issue of what to do and how to act. If you consider it an acceptable option to start acting like an ignorant prick, you're joining the throngs of subhuman scum that populate what should be a better planet. It would be too easy to simply do something that most useless assholes do naturally, anyway.

So what's the option?

Pick a partner with some self esteem, self confidence and enough intelligence to know what's good for her.

If you're incapable of doing such a thing, the chances are that you're the problem.

Learn more about this author, Christopher Cranmer.
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