by Joseph C. Alkire

Created on: July 15, 2009

I do not know if mothers intend to interfere with the marriages of their grown children or if they are looking out for their well-being. Which side of the coin are we looking at? If we were the children and at one time we were, we would be inclined to say that mom is interfering. If we are the parent/mother, we would have to say we are looking out for the best for our children.

It stands to reason, we would not want to see our children make the same mistakes we did when we were younger, right? If we could spare them the heartaches we had, amen. If not, so be it. However, I must make this statement and I quote "Unless our young married children are prepared to handle all that life has to give without the assistance of any kind from their mother or father for that matter, they should be willing to yield themselves to their wisdom". Wisdom comes from many years of life experiences and caring mothers have an awesome, incredible amount to offer. A young married adult would be wise to listen to their mothers counsel.

We as parents, especially mothers have invested twenty plus years in the care, disciplining, feeding, clothing, nursing, nurturing, and raising of our children. Not included is homework, school projects, holidays, parties, sleepovers, last minute I forgot something mom, can you?, or mom, if you don't mind.... I must insist, the list can go on forever because a mothers' job is never finished. The day a mothers' job is finished is the day she rests in peace ( If her children allow it ). I am a father and tend to side with the mother on this one. I've seen many a young married couple use and abuse their parents for their benefit. To top the use and abuse, they expect their mother to be there at their beckon call. "Can you watch my child while I work because I can't afford a babysitter? I don't want your advice ma, we live our lives the way we want to. By the way, I'll be dropping her off at 7:00 AM tomorrow morning, thanks". Sound familiar.

"What's the matter, I'm not good enough to be your mother anymore". After many years of being needed and the center of the family unit, all of a sudden when the son/daughter marries and are on their own, she may no longer feel useful. At times this can be devastating. Mothers can at times be overwhelming. I've been there myself. Taken into consideration the sacrifices they have made over the years, mothers can be a tremendous asset to any young couple. A little compromise is usually all it takes to resolve any situation. To the young married couples I would say this, "Never say that you will never interfere with your childrens marriages the way your mothers did with yours". We never know what will happen until we get there. The question still remains, Will you, after twenty some odd years invested in your children be able to resist giving input when the time comes? Remember, we are not so perfect as to be beyond our own mistakes. This should be taken into consideration when dealing with mothers and their married children alike.

There are extremes however and they should be handled delicately. The last thing anyone would want to see is an eventual dissolvement of any kind of relationship. What took years to build can be brought down in seconds. It is not good for anyone to let their mother/daughter or son relationship get to that point. If it does, please seek some sort of counseling before any regrets can possibly arise. Yes, mothers can interfere with marriages. With a little consideration and understanding, any mother/married couple relationship will certainly flourish.

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