by Chris Leahy

Created on: July 15, 2009   Last Updated: July 30, 2009

Maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner when there's stress over the recession is tough. No matter how you slice or dice it, whether you or your partner loses a job, struggles with credit, has to pay off medical bills, etc., keeping a healthy connection with your mate becomes more and more difficult.

Things that keep people together and bring them closer in tough times are resilience, compassion, and belief. In order to have a successful relationship, when your mate fails you or you fail your mate, you have to be resilient and work to restore what you lost. If you crashed a car, and you don't have the insurance to cover it, take a deep breath, and work with your mate to figure out how you're going to cover the damages. It might be as big as crashing that car, or as little as forgetting the mail - which contained several late bills. Either way, keep your stress level low, and your resilience high.

Compassion is needed in almost every part of life. When a life is lost, a person is vulnerable and in need of support. When you are babysitting a child, and she loses her favorite toy, compassion for her loss helps ease her unhappy state. But most of all, when you are in a relationship and times are tough, having compassion for your mate when he is struggling helps ease tension and reduces stress. Simply comforting him when he's down or giving him space when he wants to be alone will greatly help your relationship with your mate. Compassion - above all other things - mends the heart before it's completely torn.

Having belief in your mate is something no relationship can be without. The simple fact remains that if you don't believe in your mate, your mate won't believe in you. Without trust, a relationship can gain a lot of friction within a small period of time. If they want to take you out to dinner, pay for something, or similar, believe that they will take you out to dinner, or that they can pay for that gift for your cousin. This is not to say that you should believe blindly, but the idea is that you should trust before you doubt them. A great exercise is the trust game; have your mate catch you as you fall backward, and take turns.

As great as these guidelines are, you may be thinking that you've tried all of these, and they haven't worked. The problem is that you've stopped using them, or you haven't changed things up. You know your partner better than anyone, so the right amount of resilience, compassion, and belief will vary. The same thing applies to sex.

Countless couples say that sex is best when it's not monotonous and keeps both partners interested. If you're married, try going a little farther than the kiss-before-you-go-to-bed, and maybe ask them if they want to accompany you upstairs. A romantic night out might be in order if you want to change things up, even if you can't afford it. You can always go to a free play, and just spend the evening with your mate. When you get home, try giving him a massage. Tension, stress, and nervous behavior can all be reduced and potentially removed altogether by a couple who care about each other. All you need to do is make a change.

But if things still aren't working for either of you, perhaps you need to call a therapist, and book an appointment. Having someone to talk to apart from your mate about your relationship issues can help things in a way you could never have imagined.

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