by Carol Lee

Created on: February 06, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

Every new mother has to make the decision whether to breastfeed or bottlefeed. This can be a very difficult decision. It has been proven that breast milk has many beneficial nutrients that can not be replicated in formula. Breastfeeding also passes the mothers antibodies to the infant, reducing the infant's chance of illness during that period. In addition it encourages bonding between mother and child and reduces the chances of allergies in the infant. However breastfeeding is not for everyone.

When I was pregnant with my daughter I was determined to breastfeed her for at least 6 months, or until she started to eat solid foods. However it did not work out that way. For the first month of her life, I struggled to breastfeed. It was clear that she was not getting enough milk. She would breastfeed on both breasts for up to an hour and even when she was done she would still cry and cry. I had some sample formulas, so once when she refused to breastfeed anymore but was still crying as if she was hungry, I made her a bottle of formula and she drank about 4 oz, which made it clear that she was not getting enough milk from breastfeeding.

In addition, breastfeeding became excruciatingly painful for me. Everytime I would try to nurse her it would almost make me cry, in fact sometimes i did cry because it was just so painful. After about a month of struggling along this way, I finally decided to stop breastfeeding and switch completely to formula. Within weeks my pain went away, I had a lot more energy, and my daughter seemed to cry a lot less. Despite not breastfeeding, she was never sick until around 8 months when I had to put her in day care, and formula feeding never seemed to have any negative consequences. Today she is a healthy, happy 2 year old.

However, I did encounter some resentment in the mommy group that I was a member of. Most of the women in this group did breastfeed, and when I admitted that I was no longer nursing, they seemed to act like I was a horrible person, like I was intentionally hurting my daughter. In addition, my daughter's grandmother actually accused me of "depriving" her. It was tough to deal with these comments, and soon I left the mommy group, but I still had to deal with the comments from the grandmother. I tried to explain my decision, but it did not help.

Basically, I think the decision should be up to the mother. I think you should at least try to breastfeed because it does have a lot of nutritional advantages. But if it does not work out for you, or you choose to stop for any reason, remember that you are not hurting your child in any way. You do not have to feel guilty about bottle-feeding your child, and if others try to make you feel guilty, try to surround yourself with more supporting people. Ultimately the decision is completely up to you.

If I was to have another child, I will probably try once again to breastfeed. But if I have the same problems as I did last time I will switch to formula and not feel guilty about it. Millions and millions of healthy children were raised on infant formula, and me and my daughter were able to bond just fine without nursing.

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