by Jules Lister

Created on: July 14, 2009

Surely part of the defining a best friend must be you trust them implicitly else why would you even consider them that? all friendships have a level of trust as part of the foundation that starts them in the first place. Even those strangers you might randomly meet, say in a bar, you inherently give them a provisional level of trust. Even without realising you have already put given them that level of trust in them by starting a conversation though you don't know them yet. Ultimately though a best friend will have that level that goes beyond all this after it has been earned and should have no barriers.

As for telling all, well you don't need to tell them everything you have in the closet straight off as there is no reason, they will come out as the need arises. As time goes on and the friendship becomes stronger then you will learn more about them including many more of those hidden things whether good or bad. Secrets like plants have a particular time that they are sown but also have a particular moment when they should bloom. It is no good trying to force them all out together because you think it will make the field of friendship look prettier, let them flower at their own pace..

Personal bad secrets can be the hardest to bring out to the people close to you, even those you completely trust, because of fear. Fear they will see you differently changing the relationship dynamics with you in a negative way. Bear in mind though that a true best friend should not judge you until the whole secret is out and will be likely to forgive most if not all things. Think about how many times have you found your friends have harboured a suspicion about what you tell them before hand simply because they know you so well. When you have confided in them they use the phrase, "I had a feeling it was something like that..." after you have told them?

On the reverse of the coin being your best friend you should also know, even instinctively some times, whether they are going to keep things to themselves or not. They can still be a good friend even if there are things that you know you won't be able to bring yourself to tell them. A real best friend though by definition should be trusted to the point that there is nothing you can't tell them given time.

One of the trickiest things to revealing secrets which stops some from doing so is what happens if you part ways with this friend? They will have all this knowledge of you that they will take with them and you wonder what they might

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