by James Thornton

Created on: July 14, 2009

When life serves you lemons make lemonade. That's how I look at the recession. I think I'm even beginning to enjoy myself. I have definitely reached my peak in coupon clipping. At first I got really good at the traditional method with a pair of scissors. After I developed a nasty callous on my thumb and fore finger I got creative. I went to an office supply store and bought a paper cutter (I'll tell you how I could afford that in a minute) and dramatically increased the volume of coupons clipped while reducing the strain on my cutting hand. In fact, I cut so many coupons I started selling them to neighbors in little sandwich bags. It took a lot of practice lining them up. I started to pretend I was the guillotine guy during the French Revolution. Off with their heads! Of course, I had to do a lot of dumpster diving on Mondays to get all of the Sunday papers, but this in itself was kinda fun.

The dumpster diving led to a new hobby and money making scheme-aluminum cans. Collecting them and selling them at the local scrap shop is how I was able to afford my paper cutter for the coupon clipping division of my at home business. I also picked up a new hobby. The prettier cans are good for making pop can sculptures, which can be sold at the local craft fair. The wind chimes and little bi-plane sculptures made from beer cans are the most popular.

The recession has also helped me make friends and reconnect with neighbors. Some of them are also dumpster diving. This has led to some friendly competitions: who can get the most tonnage, who can come out the cleanest, and who can stay down the longest. Some of us are trying to arrange a dumpster diving Olympics. The medals will be crafted from beer cans of course: Coors for gold, Bud Lite for silver, and Miller Lite for bronze. "Cash prizes" in coupons will also be awarded. Coupons in fact, have become a form of currency and I'm practically printing my own thanks to the paper cutter.

Another way to make friends is yard sales. You go to enough of them and you'll see the same crowd showing up. Sometimes things can get rough when two people try to snatch a prized object at the same time. This has led to a new hobby as well; yard sale officiating. The homeowner usually decides who gets the sale, but an impartial yard sale official can sway the decision when a ruling about first touch or first spot is rendered.

Another fun activity I do with my new friends is scavenger hunting. We make a shopping list and then go to the different stores in town to see who can find the lowest price. We all benefit in the end because we learn which store has the best prices for each item.

I have learned a new form of cooking as well, and my kids love our new menu. This new culinary art is called Fast, Easy and Cheap. The staples of our new diet are Mac and Cheese, spaghetti, hot dogs, PB&J, grilled cheese sandwiches, and you wouldn't believe the variety of Hamburger Helper-with hamburger being an optional luxury. The kids get really excited when I surprise them with Hamburger Helper that has hamburger in it!

Finally, the recession has made my family the new Fashionistas of the neighborhood. At first the kids weren't convinced we would be trendsetters but there are several fads that are now taking off. I hit the local thrift stores and bought all kinds of clothes from the 70's and 80's. The kids love the butterfly collars, bellbottoms, and neon colors. For Sundays and Church we have holey jeans of course. And nothing says hip more than punk. Wearing two different color Converse sneakers is the height of punk fashion now.

Now that I think about it. I hope this recession never ends.

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