by Alexander Wolf Hosking

Created on: July 14, 2009   Last Updated: July 15, 2009

Every one of us has had our lives and personalities shaped in some way by our mothers. Be it good or bad, as long as we have had contact with them, mum's have moulded us, to a certain extent, to be the people we are today.
I was lucky, my mum is one who naturally knows how to influence a child in the best ways possible. It just came naturally to her and I believe that my Grandparents would have had a significant influence in her life in the same way.

The most important feature any mother can offer to a child would have to be love. A child that feels loved, without doubt would feel a great sense of security. Affection of any kind helps build the emotional security a child needs to develop properly. This security helps with integration into a normal society. It is true to say that children who grow up without love, often find it hard to develop emotional bonds with anyone throughout life.

With love comes a instinctive compulsion to comfort and protect. I know for a fact, my mum would throw herself in front of a bus to protect any of her children, as would my fiance. If one of my brothers or I were upset, the reassurance received from one of my mothers hugs was all we needed to inject comfort into us. It was not long ago I remember becoming upset in front of my mum, the first thing she did, instinctively was to give me a hug. This reassured and calmed me, I am 26. Imagine the reassurance and comfort a child would receive from a simple gesture such as this.

Maternal instinct suggests that all fear of self preservation would be abolished if a clear and present danger was afflicting their child. It also indicates a natural impulsion to comfort a child that is upset, without my mums comfort growing up I would be a stone, I would not understand the need to comfort my daughter when she is upset.

Another trait that I believe is invaluable for a mother to posses is the ability to teach.

Children are nave, that's obvious. They are gullible, what an adult tells them they believe to be the truth. Therefore it is imperative that a mother can guide and educate a child to understand the difference between right and wrong, morally and socially. It is also essential to a child's mental development to be taught structurally at their own pace. Who knows better the developmental milestones of a child than the mother of that child. I was taught to write my own name, count, recite the alphabet, and importantly use the toilet, before I went to school. I was taught all this by my mum. She showed me how to identify my surroundings, how to deter myself from dangerous situations, and how to emotionally mature.

It is not only academic aptitude our mothers teach us. It is how to interact socially and emotionally, basically how to succeed in life.

With love, the impulsion to comfort, protect, and teach, a whole host of skills develop naturally. The skill to cook, the skill to motivate, the skill to clean, the skill to pass on what has previously been taught. These skills are learnt, but they stem from natural instincts every mother should posses.

There is no way a mum can control every aspect of their child's life. I, for example went off the rails, through nobody's fault but my own. I had the best upbringing anyone could have and still messed up, my mum was there for me in my darkest hours. There is no way I could express my gratitude to her for this, but I believe the bond created from when I was young means no expression of gratitude is necessary, she knows I love her and hopefully this is all the gratitude needed.

Thank you mum. I love you.

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