by Lillyswawa

Created on: July 13, 2009   Last Updated: July 18, 2009

I am going to suggest a title for a new reality show: Customers Behaving Badly! Then, I am going so far as to cast their first contestant - me!

Twice in the last month, I have played the part of "disgruntled" customer to the hilt. The first time, as a consumer attempting to return an unwanted product to one of those big box discounters. The second, as a cell phone customer hoping to arrange late payment of a bill over the phone with (I'm sure) a well-meaning customer service representative sporting an obvious foreign accent - recognizable only by the very best linguists on the planet!

Retail is hurting in an obvious global economic recession and, one would think, that this is a time when the very best customer service possible would be the rule rather than the exception for every retailer. In my case, it was not! The only person with the authority to refund my $26 the day I attempted to return the hot rollers, remained hidden away in the back of the store. I stormed out FUMING! I immediately called the store's general manager the next day and complained profusely. I went on and on and on...Get the picture?

Now, for COPING TIP #1: INCLINE THINE EAR AND LISTEN!

The guy was wonderful! He humbly apologized for the indifference on the part of the assistant manager who snubbed me and, even went so far as to override a store policy and grant a refund (which he promised to me whenever I brought the unwanted merchandise back to the store). You see I HAD retained the receipt however, I had purchased 96 days earlier - therefore, I failed to meet the deadline for store returns. MY bad - sure! Still, rules are 'overridden' by management all the time and I have spent hundreds of dollars a year shopping this store for decades! Besides, the item had not even been opened. Well,...hardly opened.

The problem could have easily been resolved a day earlier if, when called up to the service desk by the cashier with a request BY ME, the customer, to come to the front so, I may be allowed to plead my case - I really needed that twenty-six bucks! - the rude, fat-headed assistant manager would have PUT DOWN HER DONUT, GOTTEN OFF HER BUTT AND, COME OUT THERE!

Now, the call center fiasco:

All I needed was a few extra days to pay my cell-phone bill, thank you. Well! You would think I was requesting an audience with some popular world leader! (No, not him.) You know the drill. On hold for 6-8 minutes - "experiencing high call volume", you understand. Then, a well-scripted voice (resembling an android from another galaxy) comes on the line announcing, "My name is Dublakakah Rasputin and I will be assisting you today..."

But, NOT so fast! You must first confirm every single personal piece of information starting with your date of birth and ending with your last menstrual period! (If you are a woman, of course.) It was only after 17 long minutes (which, by then, was cutting into my week night viewing of the Lifetime movie) that I got connected with an "accounts' receivables customer service representative" - I wonder if that's the title on his door (I wonder if there's a door that big!) who had the 'authority' to 'address my concern' - but, only "possibly". Possibly? Were they kidding!

First of all, how the hell does anybody get to answer the phones without any authority in the first place? Second, how is it a global cell- phone service company presumably competing for customers is permitted to keep one of those customers waiting on the phone a total of 25 MINUTES just to be told they will be helped - POSSIBLY?!

Suffice it to say, I was eventually satisfactorily addressed or, should I say my concerns were...oh, whatever!

Anyway, here's COPING TIP #2: HURRY THE HELL UP!

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