by Geri O'Hara

Created on: July 13, 2009   Last Updated: July 27, 2009

RETURNING TO AN EX REPEATEDLY: WEAKNESS OR KARMA?

On the face of it returning to an ex repeatedly would be viewed as stupidity by some, as weakness by others and then again some others would view it as a mixture of both stupidity and weakness. The stupidity is in having an almost impossibly optimistic outlook; that 'this time things will be better' or that 'this time we will get it right'. I believe that life is just not that simple or straight forward. People are by nature complex and so are relationships. There are many reasons people return to ex's from economic reasons to feelings of insecurity. Some people fear being alone and some are manipulative and find ways of persuading their ex to return. Others believe that they are in love and feel it is worth giving it another try. These may all be valid reasons and should not be dismissed as weakness or stupidity. Nor should we use the concept of Karma to blame if we create circumstances in our life where we will find ourselves in a situation where we will be repeating past behaviors.

If people say it is their Karma meaning that it is their fate and they cannot escape it, they are mistaken in their understanding of Karma. We all have a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings about the concept of Karma. Sometimes people do use concepts such as Karma and fate to give themselves an 'excuse' . To absolve themselves of the responsibility that they have for their own lives.

Karma is bound up with concepts such as causality and good and evil. Some people view it as a sort of spiritual balance sheet were they store up rewards in this life for their next life. This is a simplified (and popular) view of Karma. Karma is not about rewards or punishments in this life or any other life.

Karma is intentionality. It is of the mind and is all about our thoughts our words and our deeds.(What we are going to do). It means 'to act'; it is about 'doing' therefore we should not think of our Karma as our fate or destiny. The words destiny and fate imply a fore gone conclusion were no action is necessary. It is true that our existence or changes in our lives is dictated by our karma and that in Buddhist teachings we carry over our Karma from past lives but we should not look on our lives then as predetermined or have a fatalistic worldview. Although Buddhists believe that the situation that we are born into is a reflection on Karma from past lives; for example if you are born rich you were probably good in a past life, poor

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