by Crystal Leigh

Created on: July 13, 2009   Last Updated: August 17, 2009

Sitting here, all alone, in the dark.
Consumed by my thoughts, and fears.

I can't seem to sleep, knowing what I know.
Tears flowing from my eyes as they swell with sorrow.

Strange how suddenly six months isn't enough time.
Cancer is stealing you away from me, uncharged for it's crime.

How do I tell you everything, every thought that I want to say?
All the love and turmoil of emotions, now cloud my thoughts with gray.

The agonizing pain, plague of sorrow, the uncontrollable anger, and volcanic rage.
Everything you've shared with me in my life, now drawing toward it's final page.

I am so very thankful for what time that we do have left.
Still I struggle with my emotions, leaving me empty, and bereft.

You have been there for me through every stage in my life.
My very first breath, a Father's Day gift to you from your wife.

You have been so much more to me than just a Dad.
You are a dear and cherished friend, and of that I am glad.

How do I find the strength to be there for you in the end?
You've always been the one who's there for me, all my pains you did mend.

You are my hero, my idol, my example of how to live my life.
I feel cheated and robbed out of my time with you, cutting into me like a knife.

There's so much more I wanted to learn, so much I wanted to do.
I wanted you to better know your Grandchildren, and your Great Grandchildren too.

They won't get to know their Grandfather, a truly amazing man.
How do I come to terms with this? I don't know if I can!

Already I struggle with your loss, knowing what path for you lies ahead.
The thought of losing you fills my heart overflowing with distress and dread.

This just can't be happening! This is so very wrong.
You've expressed no fear of what awaits, and in your life you carry on.


You continue to work, as if any other day.
I admire you, love you, and for you I pray.

I ask for you Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom, for me as well.
This is my worst struggle, worst nightmare, worst fear, it's hell!

I'll keep you in my heart, drawing my strength from you.
Have faith and peace in your heart, in Heaven, you'll be renewed.

I'll accept this as being God's will, as you already have.
I consider myself so very blessed to have you as my Dad.

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