by Matt Bird

Created on: July 13, 2009   Last Updated: July 20, 2010

Pssh, working at work? What an odd concept. Obviously those of us that get a job are doing so to indulge in our light fantasies, using the workplace as a means of relaxing and kicking back for a few hours before we go home to the pressures of family and taxes.

... okay, well, maybe not. Needless to say, though, there are tons of workers out there who will do just about anything besides actually work while at their jobs. And while many come up with unique approaches to slacking, there are plenty of popular options used by workers everywhere.

Here, then, are some of the more popular pastimes for employees that don't involve productivity in any way. As nice as they sound, though, I wouldn't recommend taking up any of them lest you get caught.

- Talking. Gabbing. Gossiping. Whatever you want to call it, you're not only keeping yourself from working, you're preventing others from doing so as well. Some office workers just love to talk, and all too often it's about juicy topics which have nothing to do with actual work. The obvious solution to this is to stir up some controversy, as the conversation will be about that controversy - which still isn't productive, but at least it's a step up from before. Right?

- Chatting on the phone or e-mail. In either case the worker actually does LOOK like they're working, at least from afar. Get closer, though, and you realize they're busy discussing last night's football game or tonight's episode of Desperate Housewives.

- Reading. Again, this could possibly be misconstrued as actual productivity, especially if the book in question is kept hidden within a binder and the reader is hunched over, looking all serious.

- Doodling. I love doodling. I could sit and do it all afternoon, and judging by people I've watched in cubicles I'm far from alone.

- Playing online games. This is where computers come in handy. As long as you have Flash installed and websites aren't monitored or blocked you can play games for hours and hours without having to download a single thing. (I lean towards Tetris and Desktop Defense, myself.) And if your network IS monitored and you want to avoid repeat visits to a single site, you can always download the Flash game and play it straight from your desktop. Handy!

- Playing Solitaire. It seems like every PC ever made comes with a copy of Solitaire, and if it doesn't right away the program will appear on it eventually.

- Sleeping. It's the easiest to get caught doing, since there's no excuse or way out of it, but if you can pull off sleeping you're a champion slacker. (I used to know one fellow who would sleep under a bench in one of the changing rooms, piling up a series of boxes in front of him to avoid detection.)

- And, my personal favorite, roam. If you're fortunate enough to work in a large area you can wander at will and, so long as you walk at a brisk trot, people will never question you on your destination. In fact they'll PROBABLY think "My, he sure looks busy" and consider you an even better worker than before. This only works if you keep your shoulders squared and your hands out of your pockets. Your face needs to look grimly determined, as well.

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