by S Vitrolica

Created on: July 13, 2009   Last Updated: July 18, 2009

1. Take a vacation.

If I was going to get pregnant from taking a vacation, I think I'd have quite a large family by now. I live in France, we have FIVE WEEKS of vacation a year. And let me tell you, we have had some quite pleasurable attempts at baby-making on many, many of said vacations.

2. Relax, just stop thinking about it.

Does a doctor tell a patient with a hernia or heart problems or cancer to stop thinking about it? I think not. Infertility is no different from any other medical conditions, there is usually a medical explanation.

3. Why don't you just adopt?

'Just' adopting doesn't exist. Adoption is a long and difficult process. There are many reasons why infertile couples don't 'just' adopt. In our own experience, we did actually begin adoption proceedings, but after hearing the truth about how difficult it is here in France, decided that at this time adopting isn't for us.

'Just' adopting in France takes from five to seven years, and less than five percent of the couples that begin the adoption process actually have a child in the end. Oh, and in case you think we ere just being too picky, let me clarify that in our initial paperwork we did not ask for a newborn and we are completely open to foreign adoption. We agreed to accept several children from the same family and that the oldest could be up to nine years old.

Adoption is also very expensive, and with an under five percent success rate, we decided that our chances of having a child before I am forty were better with IVF.

When people ask me why I don't 'just' adopt, I'm often tempted these days to ask them why they don't.

4. I knew a couple who had given up trying to have a baby and just after filing for adoption, the woman got pregnant!

It seems like every ignorant non-infertile knows this couple, who magically got pregnant after filling out adoption paperwork. I would like to know, is there a special formula? Should I pay the filing fee as well and look through the catalogs of children waiting for homes? Will that help me trick my body more effectively? Maybe I can spin around in circles while standing on my head and do a rain dance as well.

5. You're still young honey, you have time.

Infertility knows no age.

At twenty nine, I went off the pill, my gynecologist told me after a year of trying to conceive that we had time. After the second year I was pregnant, then had a miscarriage, which he took as proof that 'everything as working' and told me we had time. At thirty one,

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