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The decision whether to stay in a relationship or not sometimes deserves much thought and consideration. Usually break ups occur because of irreconcilable differences. Although we all share things in common, no two people share all of the same exact characteristics. Two people in a relationship should expect some differences. We are all unique and "individually wrapped". Our likes and dislikes, nuances, and mannerisms differ. Some have little quirks, annoying habits or perhaps short-comings. In other words, nobody's perfect. So people usually connect because they have more in common-than not.

Things usually go well in a casual relationship. Agreements and decisions are mutual and nobody has any unrealistic expectations of the other. Serious relationships are different. All cards need to be on the table and skeletons let out of the closet. If the two accept what has been revealed and agree to continue the relationship; then they already know what they are getting themselves into.

Many times when one person becomes interested in another, they want to be the one that person is looking for. So if they don't honestly possess the characteristics that person is looking for in a mate, they will pretend to. They hide behind a facade until their true nature manifests itself. As time goes by, the face behind the mask is revealed. The first peek is usually during an argument or conflict.

Relationships are not smooth sailing all of the time. Expect some conflict. There are going to be problems. You will not see eye to eye on every issue. You may argue about anything from politics to religion; from taste in fashion to what to have for dinner. Try to resolve issues as they occur. Nothing can be solved by giving the cold shoulder and the silent treatment. Agree to disagree and learn how to resolve conflicts through effective communication. If both parties are willing to do this necessary work to have a successful relationship, then STAY.

Don't be naive in a relationship and don't ignore red flags. If you are constantly having arguments and disagreements and can't find peaceful resolutions; it is obvious that you are not compatible. This might be a good time to put a halt to the relationship. Anytime you are disrespected ( by your definition of the term), belittled or betrayed, you might want to think twice about being in a relationship with someone who treats you like a second-class citizen. But these things can be forgiven, if you still think the relationship can be salvaged, and is worth saving. If you need to seek professional help for guidance, then do so.

However, abuse of any kind should not be tolerated. If you can't be with someone who builds you up, why would you want to be with someone who beats you down? Why endure being beat down verbally, emotionally, physically? You don't have to. LEAVE! There are many resources available to help you. Talk to someone.

Learn more about this author, Frances Meupe.
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