Is it responsible for a parent to let a 12-year-old child ride the NYC subway alone?

by Jenny Tolley

Created on: July 13, 2009   Last Updated: March 20, 2010

Yes, I do think it's responsible for a parent to allow a 12-year-old child ride the New York City subway alone. Too many of today's kids are growing up ridiculously overprotected by helicopter parents that don't let them experience life. This phenomenon seems to have evolved in the past twenty years or so and it's rapidly turning America's children into anxiety ridden wimps.

A couple of years ago, Lenore Skenazy, author of the blog "Free Range Kids", attracted media attention when she let her 9 year old son ride the New York City subway alone. A lot of people claimed Skenazy was negligent for making that decision, even though the boy got through the experience without a scratch on him and came home exhilarated. Obviously, at 9 years old, Skenazy's son knew how to navigate the subway system and stay out of trouble. He proved that he's independent enough to get around on his own, even if other people think he's too young for the privilege.

I think the media is a big reason why we have so many anxious parents these days. Many of today's parents grew up in a less restrictive, more innocent environment. While some may mourn the loss of that freedom, the general consensus seems to be that the world is a lot more dangerous than it was just twenty years ago. But is it, really? Or are we just watching the news a lot more than we used to?

When I was growing up, there was no Internet and, while CNN existed, it wasn't beamed into every household in the neighborhood. My parents got their news from a daily newspaper and the 6:00 and 11:00 local broadcasts. While children of my generation may have been in plenty of danger, parents didn't hear so much about those dangers because a 24 hour news supply wasn't as readily available as it is today. Consequently, the world may have appeared to be much safer back then than it is in 2009.

Today's kids and their parents have to contend with a constant barrage of news reports about kids who get abducted, molested, killed, or injured in freak accidents. But I think a lot of people forget that there's a well known adage in the world of journalism... "if it bleeds, it leads." And we're hearing about these cases because they are unusual, not because they happen frequently. Indeed, according to this 2005 article by USA Today, sex crimes against children have been declining over the past ten years, despite the fact that there have been several high profile cases. Of course, those high profile cases have also led to new laws and, perhaps, a new layer of anxiety for parents.

I understand why many Americans would be reluctant to let a 12 year old ride the subway alone in any city, let alone New York. However, the fact is that many kids around the world are routinely exposed to dangers that most American kids could not even fathom. The vast majority of them manage to survive until adulthood anyway.

I think if Lenore Skenazy's 9 year old son can ride the subway alone, a lot of 12 year olds should be able to do it too. Of course, not all kids are created alike. I think it makes sense for parents to consider the maturity level of their child before they decide whether it's appropriate to let them venture out on their own. But I also think the news media, with its distorted image of reality, is a major reason why Americans have become so overprotective of their kids.  In the long run, being overprotective of children does them more harm than good.

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