by Denisa Howe

Created on: July 12, 2009

In one moment, your breathing becomes labored, the stomach tightens, the eyes cry while the heart builds a new wall. Lost Love disappears in seconds and yet the memory will last forever. Time goes by and the built walls come down, for another chance and who knows, maybe this time it will be lasting. Does time heal all pain or simply allow us to deal with it better?

When we try love again, we tend to forget the last lost love or think of it less. Do we wish to go back in time and change it? Maybe fixing it where we never felt the feelings of love. I do not. For all that, I have met, loved and even those who have hurt me shaped who I am today. Changing anything in history would change who we are today. Although life is not perfection, I am content with the end result of now.

My children now grown ask of their father. He is changed now too, some good some not; like us all I suppose. They ask why it didn't work and I answer simply that we both grew up wanting different things. We fell in love at an early age, we felt it and yet life showed us we were not ready to accept what we matured into. He, today disappoints them at times and they ask, "How could you have loved him?" I did because then he was different. We were young, free and he was a wonderful, generous person. He was not the man he is today. I explain, we lost the beautiful, special young love we had together and yet life went on. I also explain he loves them just as he loves everyone in his life, it's not perfect and yet he treats them all equal.

When you lose, love is it the feeling you lose or is it the person or both? I think many times we love people but we are not in love and that makes the difference of it surviving or not. When deciding about whether to divorce or not, a wise friend asked me, "Will it hurt you more to stay with this person or hurt you more to be without this person?" I made my decision and never looked back. At times I look back and remember with fondness and other times I am glad it is over. Everything I went through in life, I would do again to end up with the person I am with now.

Lost love is like other things you lose. It teaches you, makes you stronger and helps you to cherish even more. It's like having to know pain to know joy, they teach us about the other. If we only knew of joy in life, perfection would lose the intense feeling and we would seek nothing. Life and love is as it should be.

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