Are parents justified in pressuring their teenage children to get a college education?

by Susanna Perkins

Created on: July 12, 2009   Last Updated: July 27, 2009

No. There are philosophical arguments, psychological arguments, financial, socio-cultural and many other arguments one way or the other, but I believe there is no justification for parents to pressure their teenage children into getting a college education. There are several reasons why pressuring your child is not a good idea, but there is one major, pragmatic reason: it just doesn't work.

The first definition of education, according to Dictionary.com, is the act or process of imparting or acquiring general knowledge, developing the powers of reasoning and judgment, and generally of preparing oneself or others intellectually for mature life.

Oh, certainly, you can coerce a child to apply to college and gain admission, and you can pay or find scholarships for her to attend college. But at the end of two or four expensive years, if the student is only there because of parental pressure, she won't have gained an education and will be no closer to knowing what she wants to do with her life.

Parents usually want the best for their kids. We want them to be happy, healthy and productive, and we'd like to think we know just how they can accomplish all that. Unfortunately, despite our best intentions, we don't.

Parents can and should teach their children by their words and their examples to value education and to recognize its importance. Starting when the child is an infant, parents should read to him, then with him. Parents should engage the child in discussions about all sorts of topics and issues, and should ask questions and give her the freedom to draw her own conclusions and think for herself. Parents should share their own school experiences, both positive and negative. They should talk with their kids about which of their own decisions were good and which were not so good and why.

Much as we might wish it to be true, not all children are cut out to go to college. Some prefer physical, hands-on work and feel stifled in a classroom. Others simply have no interest or aptitude. Some know during high school what career they will pursue, and they attack it doggedly. Other kids can't wait to get onto a college campus so they can dabble in all sorts of learning and figure out what they want to do when they grow up. Some need a break before continuing their education at the college level and should be allowed to proceed at the pace that's right for them.

Parents, if you've laid the groundwork, your kids understand that education is important, and know that their level of education will largely determine their careers and their earnings throughout their lives. We all know that teenagers don't always make the best choices, but you should respect your teen enough to let him make his own decisions about something as important as college - even (and maybe especially) if you think he's making a mistake.

If you exert pressure and force your teen to go to college, she may go through the motions. But unless it's her choice and her desire, she can easily get out after four years without acquiring an education. And what a waste that would be.

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