It's a little troubling to hear that one of the most sought after character traits that women look for in a man is honesty. This never occurred to me, as I always thought of honesty being a default characteristic in most people. At least, that it should be. One shouldn't have to ask for an honest person, just as we don't specifically ask for air breathers. Even the thought of asking for an honest man seems a little paradoxical. If she falls in love and one day finds that her man has told a whopper, seriously now, can she go to him and say, "You said you were honest".
I've been around for a while, before men stepped on the moon even. I've lived, loved, worked and played with enough folks to have a fairly good picture of people. If you walk up to any one of them and ask if they're honest, I'd bet nine out of ten would actually be honest to some degree, and ten out of ten would say they were. The nine may not be George Washington honest, but they've never crossed the "go to jail", line either. And the one, well, look out for this person, but for our purposes he or she is in the big house. Lets assume for the moment, that the majority of the nine are trustworthy enough to leave your wallet or purse unattended in their presence. At least for a few minutes anyway. And then, the majority of those folks are trustworthy enough to become friends. Then most of those folks can be good friends. See where I'm going here? We can narrow it down further but for the sake of argument, lets just say half the people you've ever known or met qualify as being "honest", half men, half women. We can battle about which sex is more honest another time, but for today, each half is equally honest. A lot of suppositions you may be muttering at this point. Well these are my observations and I'm sticking to them.
So here's my dilemma. The degree of emphasis women put on honesty makes this whole situation look like this. "An honest man is as hard to find as a woman who says what she means". Can the interpretation of what is "honest" be so different for men and women? Ladies, from a man's standpoint the quote, "say what you mean and do what you say", pretty much sums up the honesty rule. I assume a woman's definition includes some flowery attachments and special fluffing up till it looks like something men almost understand, but not quite. Still, I'm fairly certain what we believe "honesty" to be, is reasonably similar to both sex's. Now there's a scary thought.
The importance women place on honesty, they also apply to "nice", "funny", "intense" and so forth. As men, we have learned that when you say, "I want a nice guy", what you mean is "I fall for jerks, why can't "they" be nice?". When you say you want a man who is honest, we know you mean "I want to hear the truth, unless I really don't". The "funny" thing is the best. I love to hear women say, "All I want is a man who can make me laugh". Almost invariably, two months after finding him she whispers to her girlfriend, "He turned out to be such a clown".
Now here's the fine point. Do you remember that movie about the shark eating his way through the "How To Serve Man", menu. There was an oceanographer that attempted to explain the simple nature and perfect design of sharks. I'll remember this quote till the day I die because it works so wonderfully when you exchange the words "shark" for "men". He said and I quote, "All sharks do is eat, sleep and make little sharks". With a few small modifications and some baby steps up the evolutionary ladder, Presto, we have the gender "man". Granted, mankind has received some very impressive enhancements, but the bottom line is unbreakable, unchangeable and nonnegotiable. In order for mankind to survive, men received this half of the equation. That was pretty easy, wasn't it?
The best part about describing women is, I don't have to be right, and I still won't be wrong. Now guys, read the last sentence again, very carefully. I bet you're looking at it like its Chinese or something. Guess what, women know exactly what it means. There was a professor at my college who would write these long drawn out equations on the board, like in the movies. He'd start out with this tiny little equation on one side followed by an equal sign and then a hideously long incomprehensible mess on the other side. Well, unfortunately guys, we didn't get the bigger one this time. With the exception of physical strength, women, for the most part, have a greater amount of those qualities that enhance and advance civilization. You should be grateful and thank the heavens that women have a higher estrogen level and the changes it causes every month. If women had the ability to stay rational and focused all the time, men would eventually know what it is and has been like to be a woman. I shudder to think about it.
All is not lost however. As incompatible as we are in almost everything, I see signs of exquisite possibilities and proved realities. From the young people on their first date, to the golden anniversary couples. And I'm just a man.