by Celia Craske

Created on: July 11, 2009

Sex is a funny thing- the vast majority of adults in the world are involved in a sexual relationship at some time in their lives; in the developed world, sex in all its myriad forms is a fascination for millions. Whole industries exist to satisfy our endless curiosity about the subject , and yet, it still remains one of the most private activities that human beings engage in. The only way we know what our friends get up to behind closed doors is through whatever they choose to divulge to us. True, there are now web cams and other technological advances that allow us to see what others are getting up to in the privacy of their own homes, but what we have to always remember is that we are only privy to what someone else wishes us to see, and also we only let others see know what we are prepared to reveal.

I suspect that I am like most people, in that I trust the people I love, to be completely honest. In return, I will assure them that I, will never lie even though I know in my heart that this can never be true. I'm not talking about the major lies, the ones that can destroy a relationship such as lying about cheating on someone but the white lies we all tell because doing so is less hurtful to the other person than the truth would be.

Some sex lies we tell, arise out of our desire as human beings to conform; to do things at the same time as our peers. Is it surprising then, that many young people will pretend to be more sexually experienced than they really are, simply because they believe that this is what is expected of them? Some people will lie about losing their virginity, either claiming to have lost it when they haven't, or in societies where it is not acceptable to have pre marital sex, pretending that they are still virgins. Likewise, there is a probability that others may not tell the truth about the actual number of sexual partners they have had; despite the radical changes in society in the last forty years, attitudes towards people who have more partners than what society deems acceptable , has barely changed.

Other lies arise out of our desire to please the person we love. How many of us can honestly say that we have never faked an orgasm or pretended that a personal encounter was better than we really thought?

So, do we all lie about sex? I believe we do, and until we are given the ability to see inside the minds of others, no-one can prove one way or the other.

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