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Without a doubt, it is much easier to stay in an abusive relationship than to leave. To leave your abuser would mean that you might have to sneak out in the night, or when he is gone to work. You would have to go through some painstaking steps to protect yourself from his fury when he realizes that you have left. However, the first thing you have to do is realize that moving on with your life is not going to be an easy task.

In your secret moments, when you are alone with your thoughts, your mind rushes through many different scenarios. Deep down, you know that you do not want to live with the fear of what he will do next. You know that you have been walking on eggshells for such a long time, and no matter what you do, he seems to react in a terrifying way. However, you hold out with the hope that he will change. It is so much easier to cling to this hope than to think about how it will be for you in the big world outside your front door if you manage to muster up the courage to leave. It is so much easier to stay in a relationship that is abusive, but you will be much happier out of it.

You think of all of the things that you can do that might make him happier. Perhaps if you deck yourself out with a great hairdo and makeup and plan a sinfully, delicious meal with a bottle of champagne, he will be happy again, and you can carry on with your lives, putting the abuse in the past. Maybe, you can go through your house and make sure that every nook and cranny is perfectly clean so that he does not get angry when he sees something out of place. Just maybe he will come home in a good mood tonight.

The terrible sad fact is that there is no way for you to change your abuser. He can change, but only on his own terms and when he realizes the errors of his ways. It is up to you to decide how long you will tolerate the abuse. It is also a fact that leaving an abusive relationship is not going to be easy, so of course, it is much easier to stay in a relationship like this.

In recent eras, you put up with a partner who abused you. You did not leave or divorce the person that you said your vows to, no matter what. Your family and the entire community would have frowned on you if you left your mate, even if he was beating you up on a regular basis! That is not the case anymore. People are finally realizing that domestic violence is a crime, and it should not be tolerated. Abusing your partner is no different from any other crime of assault. There are women's shelters all over the country that will take a woman and her children in to protect them from the fury of an abusive partner who has found himself alone. They will council you and help guide you in the right direction as to what steps you can take to become self-sufficient.

Learn more about this author, Cheryl Gregory.
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