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Anti-smoking legislation's ineffectiveness has never been established. So why should we allow people to smoke at all? Smokers strain America's health care system almost as much as the obese and those that live a lifestyle of sloth. Through mountains of loosely compiled, anecdotal evidence we've proved that second hand smoke is almost as unhealthy as breathing the fossil fuel emissions that shroud every major American metropolis.

So we need to set the precedent by vilifying smokers. Once this is accomplished we must, for the sake of continuity:

-Outlaw unhealthy foods.
A diet even partially consisting of processed foods and sugar laden beverages will often lead to a host of chronic and costly diseases including obesity, heart disease, diabetes, and numerous types of cancer.

-Outlaw sloth or at least tax people for being lazy.
AGAIN, obesity leads to a host of chronic and costly diseases including heart disease, diabetes, and numerous types of cancer (is there an echo in here?).

-Outlaw fossil fuels.
Benzine is one of the most carcinogenic and caustic chemicals known to man and our gasoline is loaded with it. Of course auto exhaust also contains deadly sulfur monoxide, sulfur dioxide, and carbon monoxide. Considering many American cities issue some type of air quality alert on hot stagnant days, requiring the elderly, young children, and anyone with chronic health issues to stay indoors, I think it's obvious. We must ban petroleum based fuels. Besides, it's not fair to make those who don't drive gas guzzlers breath your deadly exhaust. At the very least we should create mandatory limits on driving, outlaw inefficient vehicles (SUVS, jacked-up 4X4s, etc.), and require all drivers pay a hazard tax to support a health care system strained by the effects of vehicle emissions.

So their you have it. My Four Point Plan to save our financially burdened health care system as well as hundreds of thousands of American lives. Ban smoking. Ban obesity. Ban laziness. Ban Fossil fuels.

All aboard?

Learn more about this author, Edgar Humphrey.
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