by Rachelle de Bretagne

Created on: July 11, 2009

One of the hardest things for a parent to do is to face the fact that their child is going through yet another stage of learning. Their spending habits as a teen may be worrying for many different reasons. Perhaps the background training you thought you had given them tipped the scales and made them so fiercely independent that it tied them in knots, wanting to have things before they could actually afford them. Perhaps it wasn't your fault at all, but a growing trend for the teen to have things other people have, so as to be accepted. Teen life is difficult at the best of times, but seeing a teen getting into debt is a terrible situation for parent and child alike, making discipline ineffective and alienating.

*Honest and upfront.

*Assessing the damage together.

*Making them face responsibility.

*Helping them learn to balance the books.

*Helping them reap the rewards.

*Seeing them grow up stronger.

Honest and upfront.

If you know that your child is in debt, you have achieved one part of the struggle, as many children will not admit to parents that they are. What parents will see is that the children depend more on pocket money day, or want to have loans in between to cover expenses. Giving in isn't very helpful, as this may be the easiest way out, but the message it gives is that it's okay to want more and to expect it.

When the warning signs start to show themselves, sit down and talk. Ask them about their debt, and talk about your own situation. Let them see that you don't expect them to be perfect as they will find it hard to admit anything to a parent who is too judgmental. When you reach the stage when a child can be honest and upfront about their problems, this helps you to assess the damage.

Assessing the damage together.

At this stage, go through the debts with the teen. Write them down, so they get a clear picture of what those debts involve. Work out ways that payments can be met, though giving them a blank check to pay their debts teaches them little about responsibility and even less about reality. Talk them through the alternatives, and let them guide you so that they believe the solution to be their own choice.

The problem here is that your suggestions will fall on deaf ears if they are imposed as restrictions. If, instead, you propose different methods in which they can face their own responsibility, you open up choices for them, and help them to understand the significance of spending wisely.

Making them

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