by Alistair Marquise

Created on: July 10, 2009   Last Updated: December 02, 2010

Real Men are not supposed to cry. Real Men are supposed to be strong in the face of all adversity. Real Men are not affected by physical or emotional pain. Real Men do what they need to do because they can't be swayed by emotion. If all this is true, then Real Men are, in fact, robots.

Crying is a normal human emotion, but unfortunately it is one that is perceived differently depending on the gender who is engaging in it. Many societies look at crying as a sign of weakness, one that should only be exhibited by women, the so-called weaker sex. These are societies that hold fast to gender roles that have been accepted throughout the centuries, ones where women are expected to carry a heavier emotional burden and men are seen as being unbreakable, emotional rocks. While it may be true that men and women differ in the ways that they portray their emotions, it would be unfair of anyone, individual or society, to expect that the experiences of our daily lives would not affect even the strongest members of our respective genders.

The accepted roles of men have changed drastically as the years have gone by, and the expectations of what is okay and not okay for them to feel have changed as well. Men are more comfortable now exploring their emotions, expressing them in ways that may have been looked down upon by other men and even some women in the past. While it has been known for many years how the repression of emotion can be detrimental to both the health of the individual and the health of their relationships, it is only recently that it has been recognized and accepted as truth by men. This truth applies to all emotion and expressions of emotion, and specifically breaks through the stigmatized image of the man who cries.

The question that arises, of course, is what makes a Real Man? After exploring the deeper meanings of the stereotypes that are listed at the beginning of this article, we can see that they are all essentially branches of the role of the male as The Provider. In this role, the male must be strong and unbending, able to withstand both the physical and mental ravages of daily life in order to provide for his family. Alas, this role is limiting as far as what the male is expected to provide. The Provider puts food on the table, clothes on the backs, and a roof over the heads, but is not expected to provide, or even know how to provide, things such as emotional support and comfort. However, the modern, secure male, knows that providing for those that he cares about means providing for his own needs as well. In the past, this might have been restricted to only his physical needs, but seeing as our understanding of what is needed to be healthy has broadened over the years, we know that it is just as important for the male to express his own emotional needs in order to be strong for those around him.

So, does a Real Man do everything that is possible in order to provide for, and take care of, those he cares about? If so, it would seem that any Real Man would recognize the importance of taking care of all aspects of his health and not neglect the things that he once might have deemed unimportant. Do Real Men cry? Yes, they do, because not only are they Real Men, they are Real Humans.

Learn more about this author, Alistair Marquise.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.