by VK Freelance

Created on: July 09, 2009

We are all seeking happiness. We believe the end goal to our struggles is happiness and with it will come good emotional health. But having good emotional health is not an end state, it is transitional, our emotional health changes with our age, or finances, our relationships and the goals we set for ourselves. What we may see as emotionally healthy now, might be viewed as structurally lacking some years into our own future.

People who are emotionally healthy are seen as in control of their thoughts and feelings, and external behaviour. We see someone calm in a hectic situation, never angry and always smiling and we think - they are happy, they have good emotional health. But that is only surface deep, what we see. It is easy to hide your emotions behind smiles, easier still to pretend to be happy. Where does true emotional health lie?

When our psychological and emotional wellbeing is compromised by stress or other life factors, we often feel as if we are spiraling out of control, unable to stop a destructive pattern of behaviour and unable to break habits. But contrary to our beliefs, those we see as emotionally healthy can still have mental and emotional problems, remember a lot of mental illness is physiological in nature, just that those who have good emotional health have learnt to cope with their stresses and idiosyncrasies in the way their brain copes with duress, they learn way to cope and when to ask for help.

The path to emotional wellbeing is fraught with problems, there will be stress, there will be anger and problems, and dealing with them in an emotionally intelligent way can be very difficult.

How can you work towards emotional wellbeing

I. Learn to express your emotions in appropriate ways: Lashing out in anger is not an appropriate response, but feeling angry is. Learn to talk about how you feel with those you feel emotional towards, don't bottle them up - that is not emotionally healthy

II. Be honest with yourself: If your emotional response is irrational - that's ok, be honest with how you are feeling, no matter how irrational it may seem, there is reasons your are feeling that way.

III. Take notice of how you act to emotional feelings: How you act and how you feel are directly related, don't think just because you act with rage, you are simply angry. If rage is your reaction to fear, notice it, and prepare for that response next time.

IV. After taking notice of your reactions, think: Think before you act, if you can judge your possible response, then you can stop yourself and think more rationally. Think, then act.

V. Create balance in your life: Harmony and balance are important, put aside time for work, play, exercise, love, sex - all are equally important and help achieve emotional wellbeing.

VI. Think about physical health: If you are unwell, you will be feeling the stress of living with it. Pain, physical and emotional, effects your wellbeing.

VII. Engage in relaxation techniques: Meditation, deep breathing, yoga, exercise, even just deep breathing can all help you deal with the stresses and strains of life.

Anyone can achieve emotional wellbeing, in any situation, that doesn't mean you won't have stress or problems, it means you will deal with the problems in a emotionally intelligent way, and will be both happier and your life will be in balance. If you feel emotionally healthy then that is what counts, not how others see you.

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