by Tiffany's Perspective

Created on: July 09, 2009

Parents, if you view pornographic materials, you could be affecting more people than you realize.

As a child, my father struggled with a pornography addiction ( which I did not know at the time). What I did notice however, at a very young age, was the type of women that my dad watched. I saw the silly look on his face as he blushed when talking to a pretty lady. I noticed the positive attention he gave to slender women that he did not give to heavier women; in fact, he would go out of his way to make jokes about heavier women. His smile was different when watching or interacting with an attractive woman.

As a young child, I did not see his actions as sexual, I only saw the positive attention that he gave to these women. Like many young girls, my dad's attention meant the world to me. I then innocently began to emulate the mannerisms of the beautiful women who were capturing my father's attention with the hopes that I might be as alluring to him as they were. To my surprise, my actions did not increase the positive attention I received from my dad as I had hoped; instead, he seemed uncomfortable with my newly acquired mannerisms. He was alarmed at my preferences in clothing and my fascination with dark nail polish and makeup. The things that I began to do and say made my father visibly uncomfortable. He just couldn't understand why a child would behave in these ways.

I grew up thinking women had to be thin to be attractive and that a woman should never leave the house without her makeup on. As a teenager I suffered with eating disorders and extreme acting out behaviors. In my twenties I worked as a stripper and got satisfaction from the attention that I got from men like my father. By this time I realized that by dancing around in skimpy outfits, I could get all the attention that I wanted. I had those men wrapped around my little finger and it seemed that the world was my playground. By becoming what the world considered to be attractive, many doors began to open for me, which only solidified my belief that I could get attention from men, and even control over them with the use of my body as a tool.

You may think "it's harmless enough," or " my daughter will never know," but trust me, your pornography habits will affect them. So the next time you turn on your tv or computer to view pornography, ask yourself what affects you might be imposing on your child's subconscious mind. Ask yourself what affects your habits will have on their future.

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